Sunday, January 16, 2005

Goodbye, My Friend

The world is a sadder place without the positive energy of Steve who lost his fight with cancer on January 14th, 2005. Steve leaves behind his very loving and dedicated wife, Misa, and their two kids who were the light of his life, 4-year old Kiyomi and 1-year old Takashi, as well as his mom, sister, brother and a lot of other family members and friends who will miss him dearly. Steve was only 42. Steve had lived through hell and made it back with the most remarkably positive attitude and a sincere love of his family and his life. Steve was often chatty, sometimes intense and always an open book. Steve found positive meaning in most everything, and I will miss his glow.

My heart is heavy, and these are some quotes that touched me in some way when I surfed to http://www.griefhealing.com/grievinghearts.htm:

It is love, not time, that heals all wounds.

When I come to the end of my journey
and I travel my last weary mile,
just forget, if you can, that I ever frowned
and remember only the smile.
Forget unkind words I have spoken;
remember some good I have done.
Forget that I've stumbled and blunderedand sometimes fell by the way.
Remember I have fought some hard battles
and won, ere the close of the day.
Then forget to grieve for my going;
I would not have you sad for a day,
but in summer just gather some flowers
and remember the place where I lay,
and come in the shade of the evening
when the sun paints the sky in the west.
Stand for a few moments beside me
and remember only my best.
-- Author unknown

I have been driven many times upon my knees
by the overwhelming conviction
that I had nowhere else to go.
-- Abraham Lincoln

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have
and take a step into the darkness of the unknown,
we must believe one of two things will happen
~there will be something solid for us to stand upon,
or we will be taught to fly.
--Anonymous

Widow Watching Widow
"Fine," I hear her say.
"I'm just fine."
And mourners hug her shoulders,
Pat her hand.
I stand near the coffee
and watch the gathering.
Her smile falters;
Her composure is complete,
A feat, I think, of fear and fatigue.
How can I warn her
That the numbness leaves
And agony becomes one's bedfellow
As anger roosts in the breast?
Now is not the best
Time for reality.
But when the friends and family
Have all gone away,
And her house is nakedIn its emptiness,
Then, then I'll visit --
For tea, and trust, and truthtelling.
-- Janet Muller Benway, Bereavement Magazine , March/April 2003
Bereavement Publishing, Inc. (888-604-4673)

Author Jane Howard Samuelsdescribing the agonizing pain of grief:
And right now,
I feel like I have fifty broken bones
and when I'm still, it hurts,
and when I move, it hurts even more,
no matter what part of me I move,
all those broken bones grinding together.
Worst of all,
anyone who tries to comfort me moves those bones,
hurts me worse.
-- Jane Howard Samuels, in WombmatesEagle Cliff BooksEagleCliffBooks@aol.com

Now that I am gone, remember me with smiles and laughter.
And if you need to cry, cry with your brother or sister who walks in grief beside you.
And when you need me,
put your arms around anyone and give to them what you need to give to me.
There are so many who need so much.
I want to leave you something --
something much better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I've known or helped in some special way.
Let me live in your heart as well as in your mind.
You can love me most by letting your love reach out to our loved ones,
by embracing them and living in their love.
Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that's left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.
-- Author unknown

If we are loved and remembered,
then we live on forever
in the hearts of those who love us.
-- Ten Mentenin After Goodbye: How to Begin Again After the Death of Someone You Love

Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened.
-- Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

People don't leave life
until you stop thinking about them.
-- Larry McMurtry, in The Late Child : A Novel

How Well Are You Doing with Your Grief?
"If I were doing well with my grief,
I would be over in the corner
curled up in a fetal position crying,
not standing here acting like no one has died."
-- Doug Manningin The Gift of Significance: Walking People Through a Loss

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day
saying,"I will try again tomorrow."
— Anonymous

Looking back on the memory
of the dance we shared,
beneath the stars above,
for a moment all the world was right.
How was I to know
that you'd ever say goodbye?
And now I'm glad I didn't know
the way it all would end,
the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain,
but I'd have had to miss the dance.
— Garth Brooks, The Dance

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.
— Cherokee Saying

A bird does not sing because it has an answer.
It sings because it has a song.
— Chinese proverb


Dawn is born at midnight.
— Carl Jung


Perhaps they are not stars in the sky,
but rather openings
where our loved ones shine down
to let us know
they are happy.
-- Eskimo Legend


Someone once wrote that tears are a river that can carry you forward.
— Oprah Winfrey


Photographs are precious memories . . . the visual evidence of place and time and relationships . . . ritual talismans for the treasure chest of the heart.
—Robert Fulghum, in From Beginning to End


You are not a human being having a spiritual experience.
You are a spiritual being having a human experience.
—Wayne W. Dyer


The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.
— Mignon McLaughlin

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