Thursday, May 17, 2007

Nasty Plates

I have a love/hate relationship with buffets. I love going more than I should, but there's so much good stuff all in one place so that I don't have to really decide what to have and can really just have one of each. In particular, this is why I love Indian, Chinese and pizza buffets in particular. The part I hate (other than having to admit once again that I have zero self-control and eat too much) is the gross factor.

We went to a pizza buffet today for lunch, and we watched in horror as people continuously made trip after trip with the same nasty ass plates that had been repeatedly touched by their nasty forks that had been in their nasty mouths. They would use the spatula to get more pizza, let the spatula touch said nasty ass plate in the process, and then return it plate germs and all just in time for my turn - ew. In all of my buffet adventures, I've never seen so many ignorant people in such a short time frame. We were there about 30 minutes and literally witnessed well over 10 returning nasty ass plates (in fairness, one guy brought the same plate up 4 times, but who was counting, right?). I wondered if we were on Candid Camera (my lifelong goal has been to be caught on Candid Camera - is that show even still on PAX?). I kept waiting for someone to tell me it was all a set up since it's so unlikely that all at once there would really be that many people stupid/ignorant/raised too long by dirty aliens/first time ever at a buffet, etc. enough to not understand how to act right at the community trough. Turns out there really just were that many of those kind of people.

It's bad enough that I have to touch the same utensils that someone else has just touched after they may or may not have washed their hands in between doing God knows what and deciding that they were hungry. What would be so bad about having a required hand-sanitizing station right before we all pick up a plate and start fingering the utensils? Each time you want to further stuff yourself, you do a quick sanitize, grab a new plate and be on your way without grossing me out. Simple.


  1. But, but Maggie ... was it good Pizza? I've been doing pretty well trying to cut out the good food but this post is making me hungry for an all-I-can-eat buffet.

    In Medford there are two buffet places our family likes and they seem to do a good job of policing plates (ie I don't see people reusing plates much at all).

  2. Yah, Joe, the pizza actually was pretty darn good! I even Yelped the place 4 out of 5 stars overall but only because I couldn't do 3.5 stars. Not their fault other than better policing or better education through signage (hmm... where have I seen that concept before).

    Buffets rock - treat yourself!

  3. I know it's late and I'm in kind of a notsmoking, giggly, weird mood - but you're killing me.

    "Raised too long by dirty aliens."

    Quit it! My sides hurt.

  4. This same place continued the same practice of not monitoring their filthy alien raised customers, and we liked the pizza so much that we finally called the health department so that we could have our pizza and eat it, too. Investigation is pending...


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