Saturday, July 28, 2007

Friday, Right On Schedule

Thankfully, it's Friday. Just in time. Thankfully, my workday ends an hour and a half earlier today (for the yanking out of the stitches appointment). And yet that "me time" thing that seems strongest on weekends for me and for a lot of people (at least enough people that the GetQuit folks mentioned weekends in particular) is right there as on many Fridays, putting that idea in my head that it would be so nice if only I could relax even more and kick back and have a smoke...

...and then cough every morning and anytime I tried to laugh, worry constantly about whether cancer or something else bad had already "gotten me," have my hair smell bad, not get kissed as much by Tom, and keep knowing that someday I will either have to finally quit or likely die from it.

I'm getting better at playing the whole thing out like that to the part where the cigarette reality lives instead of as far as the romantic nicotine notion part. Believe me when I say that you are not reading closely enough if I make this quitting smoking process sound completely easy (even with the Chantix, which helps tremendously, it takes my cooperation, some days plenty of it). If I could have a smoke without inviting all of that other stuff on my reasons I quit and stay quit, then I'd be first in line to light up, but I've been down that particular path before. If it had worked, I wouldn't be here blogging about taking Chantix and quitting smoking (again), so clearly it didn't work.

But tonight, I do get a latte because I deserve one. And I have a free one on my stamp card. So I'll make it 5 shots instead of Dutch Bros usual 4 shots (which is still cheaper and more wonderful in every way than Starbucks measly 2 shots). Have I mentioned how much I love Dutch Bros? Thank God they are no longer so close to my daily driving as they were before the move because now it really is a treat instead of a daily habit.

7 comments:

  1. Hi Maggie,

    Hope you had a nice coffee. : )

    Yes, it's not easy. And, it doesn't do me any good to lie to anybody. At this particular moment, I'd love to smoke one. But, I wouldn't love the consequences of that.....

    happy weekend,
    John

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  2. Thanks, John. I got a latte, but the coffee Tom made me after that was even better. I'm still wishing I could, knowing I can't and being OK with not smoking tonight.

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  3. Hi Maggie......Never heard of Dutch bros. I think that is what u called it. I am so bad I cant remember think chantix might help alzheimers too? Joking of course...where I live at we haven't had anything here such as a coffee shop we are getting starbucks.....only because we are getting a new honda plant ;-)
    and your right its not easy and today all day I have wanted a smoke. But have resisted. I wouldn't want to have to start counting all over..haha
    Have a great weekend and kick back and relax with your coffee ;-)

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  4. Thank you so much for the kind words. Nice to know I wasn't alone :)

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  5. Tabatha - Dutch Bros is a coffee place out here on the Left Coast that is just awesome in every way. I used to have one every morning until I moved, and now I save money :) Not wanting to have to start over again has pulled me through some moments as well. Whatever works.

    King Frank - Thanks for coming by. You are so not alone. There are bunches of us doing this, and it's helped me tons.

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  6. Maggie,
    Just wanted to let you know that your blog has given me A LOT of hope. I started chantix 4 days ago & have been reading your blogs every day since then.
    keep up the good work, & i'll keep reading & keep you posted.
    Thank you so much for posting this blog, it makes a HUGE difference to me.

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  7. Olivia, I wish you the best, and thank you for such kind words. It's really helped me to talk about my experience with Chantix as well as continuing this long process. I hope you will stay in touch, either here or by email or by your own blog (it's fun!) because I love hearing success stories. It keeps me inspired to keep going.

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Talk to me.