Thursday, July 19, 2007

Whew

After a fairly typical day, I got a little crabby in the evening, and then I finally kind of went into this very temporary (thankfully) emotional breakdown. I cry like a chick about things sometimes because, well, I am one, but this is a different kind of thing that I can't really explain that goes a bit beyond that (a few tears, but mostly just feeling kind of like a crazy person) that I don't really remember really happening in my life much before this Chantix journey or only extremely rarely (well, except as a teen, but that's different). So far recently it's happened only twice (interestingly while standing in the same spot in the kitchen - maybe it's that one floor tile and not Chantix or quitting smoking...?), so I suppose that's not terrible over 40 some days on Chantix, but it's definitely something that made me and dear unsuspecting Tom take note.

I have no clue whether this is related just to general life stuff (with a few extra stresses of late) combined with process of quitting smoking (stressful in its own ways) or if the Chantix adds to intensity of it (hell, maybe it makes it better instead?), but anyway, there it is. I also have been up until nearly 2AM the past couple of night and was pretty hungry at the time of mini-breakdown, so I'm not ruling out hunger and tired as contributing factors. The Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired thing has much merit - though angry and lonely weren't really factors.

Whatever the reason, it didn't last long, and by the time we were on our way to Taco Bell for the value menu items that make it almost too inexpensive not to go eat fast/junk food, I was all better and looking forward to watching the current object of our mad TV series marathons (done with The Loop - like it, will get back to The Dead Zone) - now How I Met Your Mother (sheesh, don't look at the main page if you are just starting the series like I am and don't want to know something that's going to happen). And now it's bedtime and beyond.

Through it all, it didn't even occur to me to want to smoke. Odd. Awesome. G'nite.

3 comments:

  1. Yeah, get rid of that floor tile. I would burn it or something. :)

    I hope you feel better. FWIW, I don't think 2 breakdowns in 40 days is that bad. I smashed my FM Modulator the other day because I heard static (I don't make a habit of breaking things...but that static really set me off :). I am sure it was frustration borne of quitting. Remember, we still have a lot of the emotional baggage associated with smoking, so bumps should be expected.

    I think it's just part of the process of getting better :)

    Stay strong Maggie!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I watch How I Met Your Mother it is a fun show and I love Allyson Hannigan. I am a huge Buffy fan so when they cast her I decided to watch the show.

    I too have had a couple minor/major breakdowns since I quit smoking. It seems like right now I get more quickly overwhelmed and feel more anxiety overall. I have been assuming this is more related to not smoking than Chantix, but I suppose we shall see when I run out of Chantix in a few days.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks, Nathan and Lakasha. It probably is just part of the process, and at least mine pass fairly quickly for all their drama.

    Lakasha, Tom *loves/loved* Buffy, Willow in particular, so I think that's what got him into How I Met Your Mother. He'd already been watching it but brought me on board with all of this TV series marathons we are doing. Good luck when you go off Chantix! John (StopSmokingCigs) has been writing about it, too, and is doing OK, too.

    ReplyDelete

Talk to me.