Saturday, July 21, 2007

Yep, No Good

If you've ever played the really lame Mall Tycoon 3 game (if you haven't, don't bother), the security guard cracks me up when he's going after the bad kids because he says "yep, no good," and it's amazing how many times in my real life I've found good reason to say this and in the funny voice he uses. OK, whatever, Tom thinks it's pretty funny (or did the first 100 times, now maybe not so much).

So anyway, today is Chantix Day 45 and Smoke-free Day 33.

Most of my Chantix dreams have settled down to almost normal. Either that or I'm not noticing them so much anymore. I was so glad that I never got what I call "the vivids" (bad, restless dreaming like I've had on the patch in the past) that I was afraid I'd get when "changes in dreaming" was listed as a side effect of Chantix. Instead, the first couple of weeks were like going to the movies or something every night with dreams so very strange, but so very clear and so very memorable. I really do miss them.

Once in awhile, I will still have and remember a dream. This morning, it was a smoking dream. I've had a few of these since quitting, but I could barely remember them when I woke up. In this dream, I was outside somewhere, and it was at night, and people were smoking, and I decided that I wanted to have one cigarette just to see if the Chantix would make it taste bad for me yet. In my real life, the Chantix made cigarettes lose some of the kick, but the taste stayed basically the same (maybe because I smoked menthols?), although I know that many Chantix quitters say cigarettes start to taste very wrong. In my dream, I smoked about half of a cigarette and was completely uninterested in it because even if it still didn't taste awful, it didn't really taste what I would call "good," and it did absolutely nothing for me. Oh Praise God (and Chantix). I think even deep inside my scary little mind something has shifted, and it's starting to get it to the point that even in my dreams, smoking has lost its appeal.

I hadn't thought much about the dream while getting ready, but when I got in my car, it all came back to me, and I smiled out loud to myself as I thought about that dream cigarette: "yep, no good."

9 comments:

  1. Maggie,
    Aren't the dreams amazing? I stopped taking Chantix a week after I quit smoking because the nausea was so horrible but I miss the dreams. I had three where I was smoking and they felt very real...lungs expanding, feeling of exhale, warm filter, etc. Oh, the guilt! I woke up in the morning and smelled my fingers because I was just SURE that I had puffed in the middle of the night.
    I am now 8 weeks, 1 day and 16 hours as a non smoker. This morning, I woke up and didn't think about the fact that I wasn't having a cigarette. I think that might be a milestone.
    Anyway, sorry for the long post. I should have emailed. Stay strong!!

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  2. Your first paragraph lol cracked me good + proper....

    Yep, no good....... that's just my sort of humor.

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  3. Wack-a-do, thanks for stopping by, and I love reading your blog. 8 weeks and then some. That's awesome.

    John, glad it translated. If you could just hear his voice when he says it, you'd pee your pants (oh, wait, that's me).

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  4. How funny! I love tycoon games! Played Mall Tycoon 2, not 3. :) Don't they just suck you in like crazy....I remember spending the WHOLE weekends glued to the screen at times. :)

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  5. I played Railroad Tycoon for a solid two days a couple years ago. I had a weeklong run in with Sims 2 around the same time, and a spent a month sucked into Second Life last year. But there was a kind of creeping irony about the simulated life theme that started to get to me. :)

    John, if you read this, I'm having a heck of a time posting on your blog. I even signed up for a word press id, but I keep getting an error message that says I "must be logged in to comment."

    Maggie, what a great dream! I sometimes imagine that our dreams are how we reconcile our inner and outer lives. If so, you're right on track!

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  6. Maggie....I too posted about a dream I had . I dont do that tycoon games I am addicted to pogo. Maybe I should go out with my savings after stopping the habit of smoking and buy myself some of those types of games. I used to have the sims game and I loved it.
    Seems like you are really doing good with quitting. I only hope I do as good.
    Have a great weekend Im off to bed for the night.

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  7. I hate to admit that many of my weekends are spent glued to games like that (well, not quite as lame as that one, but compared to going out and having a real life probably pretty lame...). At least I'm walking now, so that gets me out of the house. Thankfully, Tom and I are a lot alike and both enjoy our games. It definitely keeps my mind off smoking.

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  8. Oh I assure you I still get glued to my computer and zone out and lose hours at a time. :) Just not so much on games anymore.

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  9. John, if you read this, I'm having a heck of a time posting on your blog. I even signed up for a word press id, but I keep getting an error message that says I "must be logged in to comment----

    ------

    Ellie, I'm sorry..... just saw your comment.... I changed things around so it's no longer necessary to be registered to leave a comment ...

    so, if u try again, you will not get that message about having to be logged in.....

    sorry about that, i'm figuring out this stuff as i go along

    : )

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