Saturday, August 18, 2007

Counting Down to Freedom

Today is Chantix Day 73 and Smoke-free Day 61.

I added a little countdown thingy at the top of the page late a couple nights ago that I kept meaning to talk about yesterday but didn't because of distraction by figs and gold stars, so today with no fruity gifts or mind reading, I can finally talk about looking forward.

I'm really looking forward to starting my taper off Chantix next week on August 22. The whole tapering thing has been thought out in the anal detailed way that I approach certain things (and certainly not others) with a plan, and I'm literally starting to count down the days until the beginning of the end of the Chantix part of the journey (sound dramatic enough?). It's not that Chantix has been a bad thing for me because, in fact, I've been fairly lucky as far as Chantix side effects go, but I do look forward to not worrying about having to creatively dodge the nausea or wondering if the now much more infrequent gas issue is just me or the Chantix. The whole face itching, my nose in particular, will hopefully leave with the Chantix, so that will be nice. I'll miss what's left of the Chantix dreams for sure. They were fabulous at the start, then now much more muted when I do get to have them at all. I am not a pill person, so not having to take one twice a day will also be a very welcome thing.

But more than all of that, I'm looking forward to the beginning of the end of the Chantix portion of my journey because it will begin a new chapter, the chapter where I just do this thing on my own. Training wheels off like a big girl - first the Chantix helper wheels raised up just a little bit, then a little more and a little more until eventually, I can just reach back and rip them off completely and be on my way down the block with my bell ringing, pigtails blowing in the wind, and.. OK, it's probably a little different from those days, but it feels an awful lot like that kind of freedom. An awful lot. Having another hand holding on and running along side me in the form of a box of packets of pills has been great, but unless I want to do that for the rest of my life (nope, I don't), I do feel like I'm about as ready as I'm going to be, and boy howdy, I am READY!

Now I just have to hurry up and wait until Wednesday, and then a couple weeks beyond that before the tapering tapers down more and more until all gone ;)

5 comments:

  1. Thanks, Tasina. It really feels just like that, too.

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  2. Maggie.....I look forward to see how your tapering works. I go to the dr next month again so I plan to ask him about how I should do it. or if I should come up with something on my own. I know I still have a while to think about that. I gotta get through quite a bit more pills before I worry about something liek that.
    have a great weekend!

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  3. I like the training wheel analogy!! Awesome thinking there!!lol I, too, was not a big fan of pills until I hurt my back. In a way, the Chantix is just another pill. But yet at the same time, when I do decide to go off, it's still just one less pill. So for me...it's neither here nor there. I'm not really all that far behind you...so maybe since I'm seeing that I really can do this with all the struggles I'm facing right now...and not smoke...I might start my taper soon too. I just wish that I could keep the dreams. I love having dreams of Ralph protecting me...and they're every night lately. We're always in our truck...and he's always there telling me that I'm safe with him.

    You may not have the wild dreams...but I tell ya what...You got a wild red head (who's just a little cuckoo right now) cheering you on!! And I know I'm not your only cheerleader...

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  4. Thank you, Tabatha! I'll be keeping everyone posted on how the taper goes. I still think it might not be necessary, but if it might help, there's no harm.

    Jaime, I will miss the Chantix dreams, and yours sound really just nice and comforting. You are doing awesome even with stuff flying around you.

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