Thursday, August 23, 2007

In a Pickle (Not Chantix Related)

It's still Chantix Day 78 and Smoke-free Day 66, but I have something else on my mind right now.

I'm in a pickle.

Normal people dress correctly and just seem to understand what's OK and what's not OK for any given situation. I tend not to. In the past I've way over-dressed even for interviews (very nice suit for not really nice jobs) and way under-dressed even for the grocery store (sweatpants and sweatshirt with bleach stains while I wonder what's up with the chicks wearing pajama bottoms - what is that about anyway?). I've talked about this before, back when I was weeding out for the big move back in May and how Tom is the closest thing I have to fashion sense.

I did weed out the biggest sins in my closet (again, the details of some of the gems are here), but I held a few back, just in case. I'm big on just in case because you just never know. Some items kept were just for "in the home" use. Like the above-mentioned sweat pants for instance. I still have several pairs from back when they had that cinched up little ring at the ankle instead of the evidently more "stylish" ones now that might taper just a bit or not at all (or that are not even made of fleece and have a stripe on the side), but they most assuredly no longer rubber band themselves to your ankles. Or mid-low on the shin where mine hit after being washed. Since it's been years since even Wal-Mart has sold that style, yes, the ones I wear for home use only are the same ones I used to wear in college. When I went to class. Seemed right to me.

I'm still getting to the pickle I'm in, so just bear with me.

As much as I do love gadgets and still scored as an Omnivore on the Pew Internet & American Life Project (their interesting studies are referenced in the news quite often), I've never owned an iPod. Of course, fellow Omnivore Tom has, and he has kindly offered to let me use it for my walks. He's convinced I'll love it. I'm convinced that while I love music and also love walking, it makes me nervous to be out and about with my ears plugged by something because I lean a little towards paranoid sometimes because such leaning has paid off in the past (and I still owe you that tale of creepiness related to the man in the green jacket back in Japan). I'll need more than Madonna's Like a Prayer playing in my ears to save me if I can't hear someone coming up from behind me with bad thoughts in their icky little minds. (Sidenote: Until about 6 months ago I didn't even know that the song was less about prayer and more about what an attacker might have in mind.) Anyway, with the volume low enough to still hear life around me, I might give it a try one of these days.

Here's where the pickle I'm in comes in.

When I walk, I don't wear my "in the home" use only sweats because technically, I am in fact leaving the home, and aside from that technicality, they also have no pockets. Luckily, I did go current in that area awhile back and do have 2 pairs of the ones with the stripe that do have pockets. I currently carry my keys in one pocket and in the other pocket my driver's license (yes, they let me drive a car, crazy, I know, but I carry it in the event of something bad - morbid, I know, but at least I'm not afraid to actually leave the home) along with my cell phone (to call for help or to check my email or the Cubs score, whichever) and my debit card, just in case (in case I walk far enough to find someone willing to sell me latte - I was both a Brownie and later a Girl Scout, so I'm always prepared for stuff like that). That's all the pocket space I have, folks, and given my well thought out reasons above, it's not like I can part with any of those things.

This iPod that Tom thinks I'll love having on walks is one of the more old school models. I haven't kept up, but instead of fitting under your tongue or whatever they do now, this one is the size of a small starter home for doting newlyweds and doesn't have a clippy thingy. And so if I were to take said iPod walking, I'd need a way to carry it, but there's no room in my pockets because I have to carry all that other crap.

As luck and bad fashion would have it, I think one of the sins of my closet I held back for possible home use (or other general future use) is something I used to take everywhere I went instead of a purse because I felt it went better with sweat pants (and that's important).

A fanny pack. (American definition of fanny, not the other one)

I don't even recall when it was that I stopped using my fanny pack, but I do know that every trip to any country in Asia that I took shows me in pictures smiling proud, fanny pack around my waist, not knowing any better or that I was on a fashion crime spree that had gone international. Those taking my picture were either similarly clueless or too kind to alert me. To the left, me and my fanny pack in Singapore. To the right, we're just outside of Tokyo.

It was so convenient! You could carry it like a purse (I did) but also just throw it around your waist if you needed two hands for something, like shopping for really cheap sweatpants or more effective gesturing as a means of communication. I still wish they would come back into vogue (you know, like back when fanny packs were all the rage).

It's the only solution. My fashion sense has grown silent after all he's tried to teach me, and I'm off to find my well-traveled old friend, fingers crossed it made the cut.


  1. My parents live out in the country and my dad is on a personal mission to keep all the grass in the state mowed down. Needless to say, I do a ton of mowing whenever I visit them. I may be doing irreparable harm to my ears, but I don't like to listen to the riding mower so I play my MP3 (LOUD) while I do this (keep in mind, this is SD and I am unlikely to be attacked by anything human - and I wouldn't hear a rattlesnake while mowing anyway). I do not have "decent" pockets in my sweatpants - that is, I don't trust things to not bounce out of there while I mow. My MP3 is also really old and huge and heavy and doesn't have a clippy thing either. My solution? Despite the risk of damage from perspiration, I just stuff the dang thing in my bra. :)

  2. Now *that* is a great idea. The bra, not the ear damage ;)


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