Friday, August 24, 2007

Pre-School Math and a Dream

Today is Chantix Day 79 and Smoke-free Day 67. The numbers got screwed up a day or so back, so I've corrected them. All that really matters anyway is that it's today, and I'll make it to bedtime tonight without smoking. I'm a One Day at a Time kind of girl at heart, but I do like seeing them string together all nice and stuff.

Obviously I don't have much to report on the tapering off Chantix thing (ask your doctor first) other than that yep, I proudly cut that second pill in half before bed last night, and I was happy while I did it (no dance, though, because I wanted to get it as close to perfectly in half as possible). As I've mentioned before, I've missed 5 pills (of 1mg each) along my Chantix journey and once missed both in a day (=2mg for non-math people), so dropping down to 1.5mg with only 0.5mg less than normal (wow, I'm really going for the easy math questions this morning) really wasn't that huge of a step down. This is all my roundabout way of saying, yep, no changes yet ;)

I'm going to miss Chantix dreams, even if they are not as bold as they were at the start. They are still way more bizarre than normal dreams, but just not as profound as they were since they have settled into strange but subtle. Hard to explain. I did have a smoking dream last night, though, that I only remembered after being awake for a couple of hours this morning. It's funny how dreams do that sometimes. I've had some smoking dreams in the past, and I've talked about a couple of them on here, but the others have been basically more of the same. I don't recall any super recently other than last night. As always, the cigarettes did not taste bad to me, and I still think this might be because they never did, even on Chantix for 12 days before quitting, and I wonder if it's because I smoked menthols. Who knows. I just know that in the dream, they tasted good, as good as I remember, and I was enjoying smoking... until I wasn't enjoying it and just felt so incredibly and intensely disappointed in myself. I don't worry too much about my smoking dreams one way or the other, but I'm always glad to see that even in my dreams, even if smoking sounds like a good idea and something I want, in the end it never actually is, just like in my real life. Even at times when I would love to go have about 10 puffs, I want to keep being a non-smoker, especially as I see another day behind me string together with those before it, and that just wins.

2 comments:

  1. Just wanted to leave a note saying that I am still following along and pulling for you Maggie! Good luck on the taper.

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  2. Thanks, Nathan! I appreciate the support you've given me throughout.

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