Monday, August 13, 2007

The Sunday After Cloudday

No matter what yesterday was like, I didn't smoke, so today is Chantix Day 68 and Smoke-free Day 56.

As fast and sometimes stronger the urges came yesterday, do you know that it still never even approached actual craving status? That's progress. Once I distracted myself enough, it seemed to get better. That always helps. I bargain shopped at the cheap grocery store that's always packed, and it probably took me well over an hour or more just to pick up the 20 things on my list, but I knew that the alternative was going home and dealing with more urges to smoke, so I really didn't mind it and investigated more stuff that I'm usually too busy to look into. Funny enough, I didn't even notice anyone being rude when it was that packed. There are *always* at least some really rude people when it's that packed. Yesterday, not a one. Maybe I should do all of my grocery shopping when I'm avoiding cravings and almost want to be there because everyone else seems to behave better ;)

I didn't get to the cooking portion of my plan yesterday, so that will be today.

I remember just a snippet of a dream last night (well, two dreams, actually). In the dream, I smoked, and I just remember smelling really bad, and Tom wouldn't kiss me until some of the stench died down, so I was profoundly sad about the whole thing. The other snippet I remember was this huge hill thickly covered in snow, but it wasn't cold, and a group of us slid down it like a kid on a slide, but the memory card for my camera was too full to take a video. The first dream was a good thing because smoking wasn't a good thing, and the second dream I shared just because I'd already shared the first one.

It's Sunday. Not Cloudday or Crabbyday. I've just woken up, but I'm ready to give this day a chance to be a good sunny mood one without the stuff of Saturday. Thank you all for your comments yesterday - sounds like I wasn't alone.


  1. Maggie, I hope today turns out well for you. Seemed like there was something in the air yesterday...lots of urges to smoke going around. Glad that day is over.

    Congrats on not smoking yesterday, only ex-smokers know that even at day 56 it took willpower to not smoke.

    I need to get disciplined and start cooking like you do, it's one of those things I always say I will do...but don't.

  2. Thanks, Nathan! Yep, I made it, you made it, and it's all good. It's strange how no matter how far along, once in awhile it can still be like that. Thankfully less and less.

    I'm just now *forcing myself* by sheer will to do some more cooking. Even if it's not healthy stuff, it's still usually healthier than the junk at the drive-thru.


Talk to me.