Things are still busy and likely to be more so over the next few weeks both at work (eek!) and also back home (eek!), and none of it is at all as straightforward as my
Whatever. My point really and most truly was not to whine but just to warn of possible sudden absence or abundance (in case of busy, gone home, gone nuts or all of the above) and to also make the point I was really actually trying to make before I typed and deleted stuff about 80 times, which is this point:
My point is that as far as smoking, it doesn't matter. It can be a stressful time (though I'd like it better if it wasn't - I think I do better on beaches in tropical locales, with my hair being braided, and I told Tom as much yesterday), but it doesn't mean I get to smoke. Ditto for any other kind of "time" (good time, bad time, stressful time, wish I could smoke time, glad I don't smoke time, difficult time, enjoyable time) that life tosses my way. It's life. I'm a non-smoker now. What kind of time I'm having is no longer any business of that old smoker person that used to hang out inside my skin because that stinky chick doesn't live here anymore. This isn't her body to pollute and poison and kill because I'm here now, and I'm ready to take better care of me because I'm a pretty OK chick. Chantix did it's thing and helped the first few months, but now it's all me continuing the journey. Doesn't matter what kind of day, doesn't matter if it isn't always easy, doesn't matter if I had an oops that must remain a part of the past, doesn't matter if I don't always absolutely love everything about the long ass process of quitting smoking and getting comfortable in my non-smoker skin - nope, doesn't matter. I don't get to / don't "have to" smoke, whichever way I want to see it.