Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Not a Requirement

Today is Smoke-free Day 121, and again today, I still feel like I need a little disclaimer here.

Blogging and reading other blogs by those on the Chantix journey (and beyond) has helped me so much. The interaction and support has reminded me of just how incredible it is to live in the world we do where it's so easy to find others from all over the place doing the same and to share ideas. Really, that's just plain cool. I remember well when this kind of thing didn't exist and when the card catalog at the library was the first place to start finding out information about anything you wanted to research, but then it was just from a dry and dusty book or on microfiche. I'm 35. Not exactly old (hush it, Tom), but old enough to appreciate how cool this is.

I do think if I wasn't so actively blogging about my quit and keeping up with plenty of others doing the same, I might not still be obsessing over the idea that I smoked and would probably have quit yammering on about it by now since I'm getting tired of hearing it in my head. Instead, I realize that I've kind of dangled out there what many of us would love to do without consequence, and I worry, probably needlessly, that I've made it sound OK somehow that I smoked as if there weren't consequence, when in fact, the consequence is that I'll be very glad when this little "oops, I smoked" is further behind me and that I feel it's worth saying that it really wasn't worth it and that having an oops really isn't a requirement on this journey.

Not sure where that's headed or if it makes sense, but October has a lot of significant dates also known as emotional minefield kind of days splattered about on the calendar for me, and today is one of those tucked in between some others. Is it November yet?

Side note (rant) on the library thing above - back when microfiche and crusty old books looked up in the card catalog were part of my library visits, there was also a strict code of silence in the library. When did that change? Do children no longer fear the stern look of the librarian for making even the smallest peep? What about their parents that are just a bit younger than me who also ought to know better, yet they clatter and bang and holler to each other and to their kids who will never know that the library used to be a place of voices even quieter than just the "inside voice"?

Wow, maybe I really am getting old and crotchety (love that word!) already and well before my time. Good thing I quit smoking.

7 comments:

  1. Funny - I was in a library for the first time in years this weekend. there is a small neighborhood branch a few blocks from my apartment. It was pleasant and quiet; I think I'll make it part of my routine.

    Hope October gets easier for you...

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  2. I have enjoyed reading your blog over the last two days. I am also on Chantix but I waited longer to finally stop smoking altogether than you did. I am now on day 16 and doing okay.

    Life is so much different without smoking. The other day someone was talking about the weather. The weather use to be a huge deal to me, and rightly so, I was outside 20 times a day smoking. (I never smoked in my house). Now I could not care less what the weather is.

    Breaks at work are weird, i.e. I never take one because there is no reason to, I don't smoke.

    And I finally found out today what all that phlegm in my throat is from. Its not from my throat its from my lungs, the cilia actually force the stuff up your lungs, how amazing is that?

    The best part is that I met someone new who I would never have been able to date if I was a smoker.

    Best of luck, and thanks for the info.

    Dale - Denver, CO.
    kodijack@comcast.net

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  3. Chris, glad to hear that quiet libraries do still exist.

    Dale, thank you so much for saying hello, and I am really thrilled to hear that you are finding such success with Chantix, too! I'm curious how long you took it before quitting - as you know, I smoked until Day 13. I agree that it is strange to get used to the break times at work (so I started walking) and that weather truly matters so much less if you have no sensible reason to stand in it ;) Cilia rock! I do hope you will pop in from time to time with updates or let me know if you start a blog or something like that because I love hearing about other folks on this journey. Keep going!

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  4. I remember going to the library. And if you wanted to get support for something, you had to join a group and meet in person once a week. lol

    Maggie, I just read the last few days of your posts. Your oops just proves you're human. :) My oops didn't make me feel any different about my quit really. I still feel that I quit back at my original quit date, I just slipped along the way. As long as we get back up, brush ourselves off and get back on the horse, then we're okay.

    Chris, I am surprised that the library is still quiet. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

    Dale, I am the same way about the weather. I didn't smoke in my house either so if it rained or was cold, it was a real bummer. Now I don't care. The only thing is now, that sometimes I get busy and miss out on a really nice day. Still better than smoking!

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  5. Maggie, your "slip" is perfectly fine. I have a friend that quit on Chantix after years of smoking. Now she smokes only if she comes to town and hangs out with someone that does smoke.

    Libraries no longer quiet, doesn't surprise me unfortunately. No one has common courtesy or consideration anymore. It's a huge loss in my opinion. Even when I smoked I tried to be in a remote place away from non-smokers, standing downwind, whatever I could.

    You are doing such good things by posting, keep it up!

    You are the BOMB!

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  6. Miss M - I was going to tell you to stay crotchety....but that just seems so wrong.

    I know how you feel about bad months (mine is April), but you're over halfway through. You'll do just fine.

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  7. Sue, it helps hearing that others have also gotten right back on track.

    Sherri, yikes, I can't imagine trying to smoke socially, but if your friend can pull it off, then more power to her! Thank you for your support.

    Ha, Tasina, there is a lot of crotchety old woman inside of me just waiting to be released little by little... Glad to hear I'm not the only one with entire months of black on the calendar. March isn't really a favorite of mine, either.

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