Today is Smoke-free Day 116.
Dear Silly Ninny Self,
You are so awesome and wonderful in every possible way because you are just brilliant and fabulous like that, and now you aren't stinky, smoky and sidelined over out of the way while sucking poison. Does it get any better than it is to be you?
I know last night brought some tuggings after a day of wishing you'd never smoked so that you wouldn't wish you could have just one without consequence, but, alas, the consequences would be there if you did, and so you didn't, and so you feel won-tacular this morning.
This Friday night and Saturday will be much fun with a Tokyo friend who still smokes like he lives in smoke 'em if you got 'em with less stigma Japan because he does. On a past quit many years ago, in the parking lot of a certain Taco Bell (because he loves Taco Bell and can't find it in Tokyo between vending machine after vending machine of cigarettes, unless that's changed), you managed to smoke a couple with him (your favorite, menthols, no less), and nothing "bad" happened that time. Allow me to remind you, however, that this little experiment occurred much, much further into a quit than just the 116 days of this one and that it was still a very *bad idea* anyway no matter how many days it had been.
Perhaps just before heading out a peek at this reminder of how capable you are of resuming a full blown smoking habit (and at a time about as far into a quit as this time) or another look yet again at the very straightforward and scary and sad and real Thanks, Tobacco: You Killed My Mom video that is not for the faint of heart.
Maybe you will get lucky, and he will no longer even smoke (wonder if they have Chantix in Japan where it was almost impossible to get "the pill" when I lived there a bunch of years ago but now probably is different). Wouldn't that be a kick? If he does still smoke, you will make it through just fine, and it probably won't even be as bad as you think. Seriously, hasn't the rest of this quit been so much better than the typical terrible (aside from than a few little rough patches)? Yes, it has. Now, take a deep breath, hold your head up and know that you don't ever have to slowly kill yourself again in the name of addiction to stinky sticks, even times when it sounds fairly to majorly appealing. Be strong.
Your Serious Self
I'm not promising that I won't breathe in just a little more deeply if we end up in a smoky room, though, if I enjoy the smell (big if, not sure, haven't been in one since quitting). I'm not all the way fixed yet, and I know how nutty that sounds, but I'm just being honest.