Friday, October 26, 2007

Reward?

Today is Smoke-free Day 130 (disclaimer).

Things back home with my family have calmed down, so that's a huge relief for now. We will know more in the days and weeks to come about what happens next.

I still don't have time to write as much as I wish, but a couple of things have been on my mind lately. I've talked about these previously, so it's not quite new, and maybe more like recycled (but hopefully not garbage...). Here's one of them.

As nutty as it has been at work, in some ways busy has kept me busy enough not to even think of smoking, but then once in awhile between "stuff," I feel like I really, really deserve a poison in a stick treat. I don't have one, obviously, so it's all good, but I do know that lots of us experience this sense of loss to varying degrees. The "what's my reward" thing that we programmed our bodies to receive every hour or two or whatever interval we smoked. It's still not as bad as in the beginning, but it amazes me sometimes that when things are at super stress level, it's right there in front of me again. Crazy. Here's the link to a more coherent post of mine about this. I sounded really well-adjusted that day. Maybe some of that grace will come back today since yesterday was better than the day before it. If not, doesn't matter, I still won't smoke. I might have a cup of coffee with Pumpkin Spice creamer (at home there is Egg Nog creamer, too, and later Peppermint Mocha and Gingerbread and other yumminess!). The seasonal coffee flavors really do brighten my world. Every year. Even if it's way too early for Egg Nog stuff.

4 comments:

  1. I manage to escape the work-reward cycle, thankfully. When I find it most difficult is being out socially which usually involves an adult beverage. But, as you so well put it, it "doesn't matter." Not an option...

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  2. True, Chris, either way, doesn't matter ;)

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  3. Here's hoping all is well and stays well with your family. I've been remis in reading and staying current.

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  4. Thanks, Sherri! I know, it's hard to keep up sometimes ;)

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