Today is Smoke-free Day 141. It's also 20 weeks since the morning I woke up on Chantix Day 13 and decided to be all done smoking. That's pretty cool. I totally get why a lot of fellow Chantix bloggers are no longer counting the days quit, but as long as I still get a little thrill each day from it like I do, I'll be counting. We all have our own little tricks and our own ways of walking along this path, and as long as we all end up non-smokers (though those who used to smoke), well, we all get where we are going. There is no right or wrong way.
I told Tom yesterday that at certain moments most days, I would give just about anything if I could smoke without consequence (not possible) and that at some moments, even now, it's still so damn hard. He said that it's an accomplishment each day I don't smoke and is a big deal and that he is proud of me (have I mentioned that I am in *L-O-V-E* with this dear man?). Truthfully, as hard as certain moments are, overall the vast majority of my days are not like that for more than less than one minute. That little less than a minute moment just seems pretty strong while it's going on and makes me forget about all those other moments when the day is just fine. Also, yes, on the one hand each day really is a big deal, but on the other hand, I'm really just doing what any sane and normal person does naturally without thought (you know, not willingly suck poison into his or her body), but then I pat myself on the back and count how many days since I smartened up and did something about it. Kind of silly. Not in a bad way, just in a silly what works for me kind of way.