As terrible as the weather has been here (and it's been super nutty if you've seen us on the news), and as much as I often mention things like being grateful to not have to stand out in the rain to suck poison into my body like a good little addict, I know that things like not smelling bad, staying warm and dry, not having to leave to go buy cigarettes when I just don't feel like going out are all just icing on the proverbial cake. Don't get me wrong. All of the above plus a million more are excellent reasons I remind myself are why I'm so delighted that I quit smoking (yes, I periodically have to remind myself to be delighted, and I'm OK with that).
It's just that the real reason that really matters that I finally really quit smoking for what I intend to make be for good this time, the reason that I poo pooed for so long because until recently I always thought I was young enough to be invincible, is pretty simple but true:
Yep, that simple. It just does. I know that. You know that. All those annoying people that used to nag at us not to smoke knew that. Every pack I bought said something like that on the side. Still, I sometimes forget that somehow. Not so much forget, I guess, I just not remember to keep it at the front of my mind. Then I read something like Diva's powerful post yesterday, and I am reminded again about the cake, the real reason I quit, under all that icing. It's because I want to grow older than snot and not make it any harder on myself or on the people that love me (yep, I don't have a huge circle, but I'm loved in my small one). I hated fearing that I'd die a smoker with some smoking related illness because I never bothered to do what it takes to quit and then have to say goodbye knowing I'd done much of it to myself. No. Thanks.
Every once in awhile when I get like this, all morbid and real and whatnot, I post the link to the very hard to watch but also effective video on YouTube "Thanks, Tobacco: You Killed My Mom." This time, I'll just include the video itself in this post. It's 10 minutes long and not for the faint of heart, but it's about as real as it gets. Grab a tissue before you even click go.
And now another link to the side and an addition to my list of Linky Loos (and thanks to Stan / Stan for sending me Pat's way!):
Current, Regularly Updated Blogs I Read Daily:
- Pat's Chantix Diary - Pat quit smoking on November 29, 2007, and she is blogging about her experience doing so using Chantix.