Today is Smoke-free Day 177.
This morning, in a rare moment of rarity, for a few brief moments, not only did I pause and realize that I didn't want to smoke, but it also kind of made me think "ick" as if I was not only OK with not smoking, but it actually didn't even sound at all good or appealing. This does happen sometimes, especially while smoking those last ones while still on the Chantix (though that was more actual nausea), and sometimes since, I suppose. Of course, this far into the process is a bazillion times easier than at the start, but most of the time I still feel like I would love it if I could smoke (could meaning if I could smoke and not smell bad, waste money, ruin my health and worry about it or give up my kisses and ability to laugh without coughing - doesn't work that way, though, and I'm no longer willing to trade that stuff for poison). The feeling was fleeting, but it was there. I felt it. I know some folks have been feeling this not interested thing since about week one, but people are different, and time takes its sweet time with me so I'm just now getting around to it here and there once in awhile like today for a quick bit. And I gotta say, I kind of liked it having smoking not even sounding remotely good, so that elusive feeling is welcome back anytime. Door's open. Coffee is on.