Today is Smoke-free Day 206, and I had fish for dinner last night.
I say that like what I had for dinner is a big deal and matters somehow, and if you knew me, you would know that it really is and does. Here's why:
While I do love sushi and will eat lots of raw seafood (something about living in Japan for 3 years), including some kinds of fish completely raw at the nearest kaitenzushi restaurant (sushi on a track that goes around), or even better while in a tatami room sitting seiza on a zabuton (pillow) at a low table (or best yet, sitting at a horigotatsu, aka to me and my dear friend J as drop your feet, drop your pants, or drop your inhibitions - we called it lots of things because we are culturally insensitive like that - basically a sunken area under the table in a tatami room where you can drop your feet), I do not typically eat cooked fish. I didn't grow up eating cooked fish, and the whole grilled fish complete with ass and eyeballs for breakfast in Japan did not appeal to me, so I've never really gotten over my little aversion.
Then one day I found out about Chantix from the same dear friend J, quit smoking, started blogging profusely, gained a little weight (not from blogging) and in the process also gained a newfound desire to do right by my body more than at any point prior to now, and I gave cooked fish another go. In particular, I tried this fish dish (ha! fish dish! rhymes! ha!), Spiced Tilapia With Mango Black Bean Salsa, and even though I made Tom do the rubbing on of the spices on the fillets (from freezer section) because of my own "ew factor," I had no trouble cooking it, and mostly no trouble eating it, other than my own mental issues (I have a wide variety). It was actually very, very good, and there was no "fishy" taste that I dreaded when faced with fish for dinner situations where I forced myself to have one bite (just before gagging). As with most recipes I mention, this one is also in my public "I Made It" cookbook (with reviews for most of them). I took pictures, but I haven't seen them yet, so if they look good enough, maybe one will be a Weekly Winner on Sunday (it's a Lotus thing).
General good cheer, now that the real Maggie is back from the other side of the funk:
Quitting smoking, mostly daily walking (usually 1-2 miles a day, just 20 minutes each mile) and trying to at least eat a little better aren't as terrible as I thought it all would be, and one thing just supplements and encourages the other, if I let it. Today I do. A whole new healthier world is opening up for me that I never chose to explore until I made one change that spurred some others. I can quit lying to myself pretending I don't care about my body when I was actually just too complacent because nothing seemed too broken yet or too scared of change and mostly too scared of putting forth a bunch of effort because I'm lazy that way. I still have plenty of areas to work on, but for now I am happy with starting right where I am and seeing where it takes me next, even if it just equals a handful fewer times per month through the drive-thru window (where I assure you I will still go sometimes - let's not get too crazy, OK?).