Today is smoke-free day 337. I don't remember the exact date around this time last year that my dear friend J told me about his success quitting smoking with Chantix or the date I called to get an appointment, but I know at this point the appointment had already been made and set for June 1, 2007 at 1:30PM (took a few weeks to get the appointment, and that I remember because I was annoyed), and the beginning of the end of a lifetime of addiction to smoking (because it's not just the addiction to nicotine that's so tough) was in progress.
This time last year, I was a smoker. I paid more money than makes any goddamn sense to put my body and my health at risk to feed my addiction that I'd equated in my heart to being a best friend instead of the worst enemy I knew in my head it really was. I'd cut back to roughly 3/4 of a pack a day after some years (mostly my years in Japan) of closer to 2 packs a day. I was killing myself and wanted to stop but knew from previous experience that it was a harder battle than what I had the energy to fight. I had a phone call in to a new doctor's office near my new home where I'd just moved weeks before, and I had a thimble full of hope with a healthy dose of skeptical.
Approaching a year quit within less than a month now, I'm thinking more again about the process and the milestones, so I'll probably be doing some reflecting because that's how I am. I totally understand that for some it works best to quit smoking and then also to quit thinking about it. I've said 8 million times (give or take) that anyone quitting smoking brings into any experience the individual and unique person that he or she is, so it only makes sense that we will each approach and experience this journey differently, each walking our own paths, and each one as right as rain for the person whose path it is to walk. As long as we all get where we are trying to be, it doesn't matter what the paths are paved with or how funky they might look to others.
For me? I ain't done talking about this yet. Each day that I post something here and mention how many days it's been, I am reminded and inspired to go for another day, like a daily affirmation or some other happy hippie shit. As long as that's the case, I'll continue to do so. Perhaps it's nothing more than a silly superstition like lucky green socks, but it's been working.