Tuesday, July 01, 2008

As Far Away as Possible

We won't talk about exactly *why* I was Googling to figure out where the abso-[expletive deleted]-lute furthest place away from here is (on our globe, I mean; dealing with aliens on theirs would stress me out, even with the benefit of being further away), but I will share what I've learned thanks to this neat-o tool - if the earth were a sandwich (I love maps and map toys):
  • Most places directly opposite from where you are will dump you in the middle of some ocean instead of on some piece of land with a nice neat name.
  • The furthest place away from any of us in the 48 contiguous United States and Canada is somewhere in the Indian Ocean (which, by the way, while we are on the subject of being far away from here, wouldn't be terrible on a nice roomy yacht that's very well stocked with great wine and gin and good friends and lots of grapes and cheese and a little omelet station manned by a guy in a chef's hat. Oh, and chocolate. Strawberries, too. Fondue style, maybe. And stern enforcement of a no asshats allowed policy as posted.).
  • The opposite of Hawaii is roughly Botswana, while the opposite of Alaska is either in or just super close to Antarctica (how's that for a choice? - be sure to pack that scarf your auntie knitted for you in either case).
  • Spain and New Zealand are opposites, as are Singapore and Equador, and Taiwain and Paraguay.
  • Sometimes it's funny to Google feelings and frustrations because in cases like this, you can wind up daydreaming about being on a yacht or at least knowing more specifically where mean when you are trying to get as far away as possible (also helpful in case someone has the audacity to challenge you).
  • Challenging me today really wouldn't be that hot of an idea because I can be a little crunchy and snippy right out of the gate simply because I am in this place as opposed to the other.
Today is smoke-free day 379, and I'm still counting.

8 comments:

  1. A yacht sounds lovely right about now.
    Oh to dream...

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  2. There's something to be said for another planet sometimes. At the very least the yacht sounds like a great alternative.

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  3. I love maps too. We have a huge one in the conference room at work and I spend meetings just staring at it, wishing I were somewhere else. Now I can actually tag where "somewhere else" is...

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  4. Thanks for the facts!

    Oh, to be far away from my desk at work right now ...

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  5. one time someone got to my sister's blog by googling "i'm in heartbreaking love with an old man" and i thought, that's so sad! and i wondered if that person found the answer they were looking for. coincidentally it was a week after i had lost my keys (i threw them out by accident) and in frustration i googled "where are my keys?" (google didn't find them by the way) and it dawned on me that people must turn to google often for questions about life that they want answers to, like this person who was in love with an old man. anyway, a little deep on the google thing, i know. i hope you find your happy place though. :)

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  6. That yacht sounds perfect. However, you forgot to add in 'a hot deck hand who answers to Raul and brings you drinks and rubs lotion on your back'.

    Yes, please.

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  7. i'm totally game if there is an omelet station manned by a chef AND fondue.

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  8. how crazy funny that I was looking up this same exact useless bit of data several weeks ago! weird!

    try this for a teaser - we are today in reference to the Sun exactly opposite where we were on January 1st of this year...hopefully, memories of Jan 1st are still fresh for you as they are for me...I remember exactly what I was doing right about now on Jan 1st...

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