Monday, July 07, 2008

Fair Enough

Today is smoke-free day 386. Not sure why smoking crossed my mind so many times this past weekend, but it did. I never felt like I was on the verge of tossing away all the work I've put into staying quit this long or anything drastic like all that, but I did notice that more than once a cigarette sounded really, really, really good.

So, I did what I used to do back in the beginning, back when Chantix was helping me through but when I still had to make a very conscious effort to cooperate fully:

I drank water.

I took a deep breath.

I took it a day at a time.

I took a walk and felt good about being healthier.

I didn't smoke.

It worked.

Most likely this was all wrapped up in the long weekend thing when I start feeling like it's "me time" and that I can have whatever I want. Whatever the reason, I do know that these spikes are normal for me every once in awhile, so rarely anymore, really, and that things return back to normal if I don't smoke, and I've come to really love what's become the new "normal" because it doesn't usually involve feeling tuggings related to smoking.

I'm still on track. I smoked for 20+ years, and I'm still OK with the idea that just over a year quit I might still sometimes have these moments. I'm technically a non-smoker, but I will probably be a "non-smoker who used to smoke" for a long time, if not forever. None of that means I have to smoke. It was my choice to start and continue smoking, and it was my choice to quit smoking and to remain quit. Each day I make the choice again, and the choice itself is easy even when it's a little harder to accomplish than other days. I get to consider both sides and pick what I want. That's fair enough, I think.

14 comments:

  1. very admirable!!! glad you didn't smoke. to give up allll those non-smoking days to start at day 1 again, what a waste, heee heee heee. strange how i too, on weekends and during holidays, i too get the urge to do things i wouldn't normally do... kinda like that 'school's out for summer' feeling and just letting rip....

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  2. Good job Maggie. I felt it a little too. I think you're right. It feels like a special occasion, and so you think "I don't have to be good today!". But we had to be good about smoking.

    On the flip side I had a lot of chips and salsa...oh, and beer :)

    Hope you had a nice holiday!

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  3. Good job. Well done, you. It was hardest for me when I would have a beer or drink a cup of coffee, because a cigarette ALWAYS used to accompany those activities. But I realized, early on, it wasn't ME that wanted a cigarette, it was my ADDICTION. And once I learned how to say 'NO' to my addiction, it got easier and easier to do just that. I am over 26 years smoke free.

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  4. And I'm glad you didn't smoke Maggie. The thought doesn't seem to come to you very often and at almost 10 months quit, I'm hoping my urges continue to lessen.

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  5. I had a tough weekend too. Chalk it up to BBQ, beer and all the trappings that once included lot's of cigarettes. Funny after all this time it is still "one day at a time."

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  6. I guess it must be something in the water or the BBQ! I wanted to smoke but I am glad that I took it one day at a time also. Having all you guys to blog with helps.
    Peace,
    Diva

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  7. I'm so proud of you for staying smoke free through all these temptations. I've been having a harder time lately, too. It must be the time of year. We only smoked outside, and there was probably 1 month a year where the weather was perfect to sit outside and relax and smoke. I think that weather is upon us now, and that's what is making it hard on me.

    I really do like your new hair cut & color ... the pic you posted yesterday shows it off a lot better.

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  8. Good for you Maggie! Holidays and celebrations are the toughest times for me. I didn't smoke for 20+ years, but I still feel that urge from time to time. Good job for taking it one day at a time.

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  9. Good for you. I never doubted you for a minute ;-)
    If not for you, sometimes I think I'd be lost and I for one, appreciate you still blogs about it. cuz it helps me

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  10. Yeay Maggie! Well past a year. I know all about breathing, drinking. Refocus your attention. You are the best!

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  11. Yep. Baby steps. You're doin good, girl!

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  12. Good job - I'm proud of you for making it through the temptations. You are doing great!

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  13. Many thanks, everyone. Great to see some of the originals out there also finding this weekend a little more challenging than others. Always good to know that I am not alone.

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