Today is smoke-free day 386. Not sure why smoking crossed my mind so many times this past weekend, but it did. I never felt like I was on the verge of tossing away all the work I've put into staying quit this long or anything drastic like all that, but I did notice that more than once a cigarette sounded really, really, really good.
So, I did what I used to do back in the beginning, back when Chantix was helping me through but when I still had to make a very conscious effort to cooperate fully:
I drank water.
I took a deep breath.
I took it a day at a time.
I took a walk and felt good about being healthier.
I didn't smoke.
Most likely this was all wrapped up in the long weekend thing when I start feeling like it's "me time" and that I can have whatever I want. Whatever the reason, I do know that these spikes are normal for me every once in awhile, so rarely anymore, really, and that things return back to normal if I don't smoke, and I've come to really love what's become the new "normal" because it doesn't usually involve feeling tuggings related to smoking.
I'm still on track. I smoked for 20+ years, and I'm still OK with the idea that just over a year quit I might still sometimes have these moments. I'm technically a non-smoker, but I will probably be a "non-smoker who used to smoke" for a long time, if not forever. None of that means I have to smoke. It was my choice to start and continue smoking, and it was my choice to quit smoking and to remain quit. Each day I make the choice again, and the choice itself is easy even when it's a little harder to accomplish than other days. I get to consider both sides and pick what I want. That's fair enough, I think.