Monday, July 07, 2008

Fair Enough

Today is smoke-free day 386. Not sure why smoking crossed my mind so many times this past weekend, but it did. I never felt like I was on the verge of tossing away all the work I've put into staying quit this long or anything drastic like all that, but I did notice that more than once a cigarette sounded really, really, really good.

So, I did what I used to do back in the beginning, back when Chantix was helping me through but when I still had to make a very conscious effort to cooperate fully:

I drank water.

I took a deep breath.

I took it a day at a time.

I took a walk and felt good about being healthier.

I didn't smoke.

It worked.

Most likely this was all wrapped up in the long weekend thing when I start feeling like it's "me time" and that I can have whatever I want. Whatever the reason, I do know that these spikes are normal for me every once in awhile, so rarely anymore, really, and that things return back to normal if I don't smoke, and I've come to really love what's become the new "normal" because it doesn't usually involve feeling tuggings related to smoking.

I'm still on track. I smoked for 20+ years, and I'm still OK with the idea that just over a year quit I might still sometimes have these moments. I'm technically a non-smoker, but I will probably be a "non-smoker who used to smoke" for a long time, if not forever. None of that means I have to smoke. It was my choice to start and continue smoking, and it was my choice to quit smoking and to remain quit. Each day I make the choice again, and the choice itself is easy even when it's a little harder to accomplish than other days. I get to consider both sides and pick what I want. That's fair enough, I think.


  1. very admirable!!! glad you didn't smoke. to give up allll those non-smoking days to start at day 1 again, what a waste, heee heee heee. strange how i too, on weekends and during holidays, i too get the urge to do things i wouldn't normally do... kinda like that 'school's out for summer' feeling and just letting rip....

  2. Good job Maggie. I felt it a little too. I think you're right. It feels like a special occasion, and so you think "I don't have to be good today!". But we had to be good about smoking.

    On the flip side I had a lot of chips and salsa...oh, and beer :)

    Hope you had a nice holiday!

  3. Good job. Well done, you. It was hardest for me when I would have a beer or drink a cup of coffee, because a cigarette ALWAYS used to accompany those activities. But I realized, early on, it wasn't ME that wanted a cigarette, it was my ADDICTION. And once I learned how to say 'NO' to my addiction, it got easier and easier to do just that. I am over 26 years smoke free.

  4. And I'm glad you didn't smoke Maggie. The thought doesn't seem to come to you very often and at almost 10 months quit, I'm hoping my urges continue to lessen.

  5. I had a tough weekend too. Chalk it up to BBQ, beer and all the trappings that once included lot's of cigarettes. Funny after all this time it is still "one day at a time."

  6. I guess it must be something in the water or the BBQ! I wanted to smoke but I am glad that I took it one day at a time also. Having all you guys to blog with helps.

  7. I'm so proud of you for staying smoke free through all these temptations. I've been having a harder time lately, too. It must be the time of year. We only smoked outside, and there was probably 1 month a year where the weather was perfect to sit outside and relax and smoke. I think that weather is upon us now, and that's what is making it hard on me.

    I really do like your new hair cut & color ... the pic you posted yesterday shows it off a lot better.

  8. Good for you Maggie! Holidays and celebrations are the toughest times for me. I didn't smoke for 20+ years, but I still feel that urge from time to time. Good job for taking it one day at a time.

  9. Good for you. I never doubted you for a minute ;-)
    If not for you, sometimes I think I'd be lost and I for one, appreciate you still blogs about it. cuz it helps me

  10. Yeay Maggie! Well past a year. I know all about breathing, drinking. Refocus your attention. You are the best!

  11. Yep. Baby steps. You're doin good, girl!

  12. Good job - I'm proud of you for making it through the temptations. You are doing great!

  13. Many thanks, everyone. Great to see some of the originals out there also finding this weekend a little more challenging than others. Always good to know that I am not alone.


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