Friday, August 01, 2008

Haiku Friday 8/1/08

Haiku Friday
俳句の金曜日

Part One-Leaving

Knots in the front seat
inside my nervous stomach,
devouring the miles.

Wind sucking plastic
where the window used to be
(until that one night).

Running from safety,
I rode along in his "home,"
a Hyundai Excel.

(He'd lived in this car,
parked on my suburban street,
waiting 'til I'd go.)

At 16 years old,
I was stupid enough that
I knew everything.

Those who loved me most
saw right through lies I believed;
he helped me hate them.

I gave him too much:
my heart, my mind, my body.
And my common sense.

A runaway from
my turf, Chicago, to his,
to Cincinnati.

Premeditated,
carefully orchestrated,
master of his game.

I'd know nobody,
there'd be no talk of reason,
I'd only have him.

(to be continued)

(Chicken Shit Disclaimer: I feel like I need a little disclaimer here to say that it all works out OK in the end for me - look how totally awesome I am today, right? - and that if I wasn't OK with all of it, I wouldn't be posting this tip of the iceberg sketch so publicly. I couldn't bring myself to just leave this post up without saying that, and I didn't really want to take the post down, either.)

Prologue that I didn't know would be a prologue was here.

Also, I will be entering this haiku in the Haiku Buckaroo III Contest. Wish me luck!

35 comments:

  1. I am so glad it works out OK for you in the end, but it sounds so scary, especially since I have a 16 year old daughter!

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  2. wow. this is pretty scary stuff (says the mother of a 14-year-old ...)

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  3. I think this was very well written. When we are young, we all make stupid mistakes and can only learn from them. This might help some parent out there talk to their kids about this kind of situation. *hugs*

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  4. Beautifully written. As a parent of a little girl I think what you wrote will help me open my eyes a little more when she gets closer to that age of thinking "she knows it all". Thank you for writing this.

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  5. Okay, do I list the 13 things I do when I wake up in the morning, or can it be 13 of anything? I'm very new to blogging, only been at it for two weeks as of today

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  6. wonderful haiku. really gives you a sense of foreboding. thanks for the heads up that it turns out ok...

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  7. Such interest! I can't wait till the next one, Maggie.

    P.S. You are TOTALLY awesome!

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  8. Wow, the fact that you decided to tell this story in haiku is impressive! I mean, anyone can retell a drama from their youth but to do it in strict poetic forum is quite brilliant. Can't wait to read the rest.

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  9. What happened is part of who and what you are. And you ARE awesome. Sometimes the building blocks that make us, when viewed one at a time, aren't pretty. One has to see the final product, from a distance, to appreciate what each of those building blocks has made.

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  10. a very powerful way to share this story, and I am glad you gave the disclaimer there, awaiting the next installment now.
    My Haiku friday is posted at Mama Bear Writes if you would like to pop in.

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  11. I'm relating to this so far! Glad to read it all works out in the end ... have a wonderful HF!

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  12. Oh my goodness, I agree... this sounds terrifying. Since it seems to be autobiographical, and you are indeed still here (and totally awesome!), I won't fret too much. But phew! Lucky girl!

    -smarmoofus

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  13. Looking forward to the next installment. We all make mistakes, especially at that age. But even without the disclaimer, its clear you tuned out just fine!

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  14. wow!! i'm relieved to hear it worked out but...just wow!!
    looking forward to the next installment!

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  15. Wow--wonderful haiku! You've got me hooked. And like lceel said, it's part of who you are, and there's no need to be ashamed by it. You became stronger from it and moved on.

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  16. Powerful stuff! I'm glad you put up the disclaimer and glad you didn't take the post down. I find thinking in haiku helps me handle the hard stuff sometimes. I can write a post about something I might not otherwise say. Looking forward to hearing more!

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  17. I can't wait for the next installment. Glad you survived.

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  18. Wow! Thank you for the disclaimer. I don't think I began breathing again until I read it. Can't wait to read more.

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  19. No matter how many times I hear the story and how many generations experience it, growing up is frightening for parents (of course the kids know everything - NOT).

    Vulnerability, both appealing and frightening.

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  20. Good grief, I can't imagine what it'll be like raising my daughter at 16. I still remember my teenage years like they were yesterday. Man, do we do things we look back upon as CA-RAZY! I can't wait for next week! Great suspense!

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  21. Isn't it interesting to look on the drama of youth as an adult? I can't wait to read more, especially knowing it is all OK now.

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  22. i'm glad you wrote that disclaimer because i was all aghast and scared at the end of this one!!!

    i'm so glad everything turned out ok. thanks for sharing this (again another awesome haiku too!)

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  23. I'm glad it turns out all right--hopefully better than all right. This is super-scary for me too--I think of my 16 year old...and 8 year old...and 5 year old. It's a good reminder to me to build communication, keep trying to be there for her, no matter what.

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  24. you said " look how totally awesome I am today, right? "

    I say " Isn't that the truth!!!"

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  25. See, see, see! You are still in my reader :)

    Impressive. Deep and dark. Fabulous haikuing as usual, Maggie!

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  26. Maggie, that was absolutely amazing. Beautiful. I can't wait to read the next installment!

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  27. I'm sorry I did not read this sooner. Glad you have the courage to post it, for it very well help some youngster going through the same thoughts, as most youth do.

    I agree with Lceel, every home has a foundation, and even the most beautiful, as yours is obviously, has dirt sprinkled on it some where. Very moving post.

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  28. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story. And I know, I did so many extremely similar things -- I am terrified of my girls becoming teenagers!

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  29. Very nicely written - scary though... thanks for sharing a little bit of you.

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  30. This is another brilliant haiku. And very brave! Well done!


    I know I commented about this post on another of your posts already but I just wanted to show my support. hehe :)

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  31. I'm so glad you entered this into the Haiku Buckaroo contest! It is truly an amazing piece of work. Really brilliant.

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  32. Very interesting haiku series AND very interesting blog AND very interesting person! Nice to meet you.

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