Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Standing, Sitting, Breathing, Living


Today is smoke-free day 401, and time for
HEADS *OR* TAILS - Sit *OR* Stand.

I kind of did both because I'm an overachiever like that and because I woke up in the oddest mood with years worth of thoughts and about 5+ of the worst most painful moments of my life invading and bombarding my mind for no apparent reason. A little whipped cream in my coffee and a little outlet here, and all is mostly peaceful with some of my pet ghosts once again.

Please don't get me wrong; I don't hate that I still sometimes feel things about events that have touched me deeply. It means that I am still human and haven't turned cold or dead inside (or out, either, and that's excellent!).

Stand
when i cannot breathe and
my heart is shaking and
my stomach is unstill and
my knees go weak and
i'm about to collapse and
everyone is watching and
i'm scared and
embarrassed and
my words eke out and
just in between breathlessness and
one small, faint burst at a time and...
You are standing there,
my strength,
the support on which I lean,
and I can breathe (and speak) again.

*****
Sit
As my world was crashing around me
hers was blowing into bits, and
we both wound up
(as daily as possible)
in her kitchen,
broken and drawn together.

We neither had a magic wand:
I couldn't bring back her babies;
She couldn't make my mother not suffer
or become un-terminal.

Scrabble games and tea,
George Winston and talking,
keeping each other alive and upright
just by sitting there.
Together.

18 comments:

  1. what a beautiful beautiful post. you can always say so much with so little. i love that.

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  2. Oh, such perfect words! You are so talented that I just love reading your blog.

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  3. Such a moving post. I can sense how deeply these events touched you. Thank you for sharing.

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  4. Maggie, I miss ya! Come by and say hi at my blog! It is not the same without ya! Hope all is well. I can't believe you are in the 40+ day mark! Your STILL a rockstar!
    Peace,
    Diva

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  5. You have some sort of amazing talent! I love your poem (prose, etc.) Thank you for sharing. :)

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  6. I love how you express yourself, I really truly do. You are very talented.

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  7. You are an awesome writer. This is why we are kindred spirits, Maggie. Come, be, live in my closet with me!

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  8. that was a great sit and stand poem! well done :)

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  9. What a talent you have. So raw and vulnerable. That was beautiful!

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  10. Hahah … overachiever! I wish I’d thought of that when I did mine. It has such positive connotations :--)
    What powerfully evocative poems you’ve written and shared today! You do have a wonderful way with words …
    Hugs and blessings,

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  11. Maggie....I come by today to tell you thank you so much for your kind words on my blog.
    your post today was great as always on your blog.
    Keep on keepin on!!!

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  12. i'm so glad that you have an outlet to help you stop thinking about the painful things from your past. beautiful poetry.

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  13. Amazing words. There's not much more that needs to be said.

    cjh

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  14. That is an interesting thought...that you still feel deeply about things that have hurt deeply...because it proves you are alive and not only that, you are living and not just surviving. Yes, that is excellent!

    Great poems by the way. I particularly can identify with Stand.

    Thanks for visiting my HoT

    -Bev

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  15. You're so talented to write poems for your post. They were very good. I really like the message of the second one "Sit". When my sister's ex-husband died, I didn't know how to comfort her. But, I just sat with her and listened. Thanks for visiting mine.

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