Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thursday Thirteen 9/25/08 - 32nd Edition

13 Things I Wish Happened Automatically

  1. All things related to the cat box - I don't mind filling at the start, but it all goes to crap from there.

  2. Vacuuming - working up a sweat and still having fuzz on the floor is heart healthy, but not good for my mood. I hear Dysons are good. I may need one.

  3. Matching pairs - trying to find the other black sock with the same exact pattern and not the other close but no cigar pattern annoys me.

  4. Groceries getting into the house and put away - I actually kind of *like* grocery shopping. And cooking. And eating. Not so much the rest.

  5. Dishes - yes, I know that a dishwasher is automatic, but when it can load and unload itself I'll be even more impressed.

  6. Travel - it's nice to take a Sunday drive or do a road trip, but sometimes it would be nicer to just teleport (is that what it's called?). The sci-fi set isn't all wrong at all.

  7. Checking out - I think some places do this or are working on it where you roll your cart full of that which makes you happy through some sensor thing that calculates it all. Then you'd have to bag it, though, still, I guess. That should be automatic, too.

  8. Fashion - when I leave the house looking wrong wearing a fanny pack because it's convenient, having something try to talk me out of it and physically offer, maybe dispenser-style, a suitable alternative, would go far towards solving my fashion problems. Until then, oh, yes, sometimes I really do rock the fanny pack. You think I'm kidding.

  9. Money - some folks love to work and feel a sense of whatever it is they feel, but I think I'd do OK with automatic money and could learn to feel a sense of accomplishment at perfecting the art of leisure. I would be *so* good at perfecting that.

  10. Decluttering - if I haven't worn it, used it, seen it or thought about it in a few years, poof!, all gone. I'd want an exception button for a few random things, but mostly this would be so very useful.

  11. Laundry folding and getting put away - I really excel at the part about throwing clothes into the wash, sometimes even drying them on racks during my random boycotts of the dryer, but it's when I get to that last part that I have to do the reminder speech to myself that I'm an adult and that adults fold/hang/put away clothes. Life is to short for such hassle. How do you people in houses of more than one person even cope? And since you are likely good at it, will you do mine?

  12. Gas filling - sure, I live in Oregon, so it is practically automatic (yes, by law we can't pump our own gas, yay!), but wouldn't it be easier to just have it never even get low, maybe regenerate itself in the tank? Think what greatness could be done if we had back all those minutes lost sitting at the pump!

  13. Stink shields - I'm all for stinky people having rights to be out and about and all that, but if a little invisible stink protector shield went up around them, all quiet like without it making a scene, my feelings wouldn't be hurt. Since quitting smoking, my sense of smell is way keen, and that's kind of a good news/bad news thing, depending on whether I'm standing by the scent of lavender or the scent of ass.

Today is smoke-free day 465, and I'm still counting.

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  1. You could pretty much just change the title to 13 Things ZJ Loves and it'd be practically spot on.

    Now really, please tell me it's not like, day-glo green, or says Portland on it? The fanny pack, I mean.

  2. the dishwasher and teleporting thing, YES!

  3. All of these make sense to me … #1 is why my cat lives OUTSIDE rather than in. I’m so with you on #5 and 10!!! Hope you have a delightful day!
    Hugs and blessings,

  4. This is a great list! I agree 100% with all of them!

  5. So true--especially the litter box--my poor cat. That reminds me--I better go clean it today.

  6. Oh yeah, if I could get the litter and the vacuum to clean/ function on their own that would be grand! Great idea for a TT!

  7. Yes to ALL of it! And can you add "making the bunkbeds" to that list for me. That is my most dreaded chore.

  8. The cat box in my house is automatic. Bryan automatically fills it with litter, it rakes itself (when it works) and then Bryan dumps the tray of treasures. Voila, Chris never has to touch it.

    Happy TT!

  9. I like everything on the list, but I have spent years and years thinking about #6. Its actually one of my three wishes if I ever stumble upon a Leprechaun or something. Not only could you apply it to trips and vacations (especially with kids), but everyday life too. Imagine how much time you could save if you didn't have to get up to use the bathroom. You could wait until the absolute last SECOND, snap your fingers and do the business. Its pure gold.

  10. Some of these are too funny - but we all SO wish for them - dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, cat litter pans - yeah - they all need to load, unload, put away, their own damn selves!

    And who in the hell HASN'T wished for a 'beam me up Scottie' button!

  11. I'm voting for you because you should RULE. THE. WORLD.

    I totally agree about YAY OREGON on the pumping gas thing--I make such a mess when I travel and have to do it myself.

  12. I have a Dyson and it works AMAZINGLY well!

    Fanny pack...heheeh ;-)

  13. I have the matching sock problem too.

  14. ROFL at the stink shield! I love this list. I was nodding and cracking up the whole way through :)

  15. Ok, I have some solutions for you:

    1. train your cat to go outside like I did mine. I just let the dog and the cat out together, they do their thing, and kinda each make sure the other one doesn't get a wild hair to run off. So I have a 95% indoor cat and no litter box. Truly lovely.

    2. Get a Dyson. FOR.REAL. But get your own, cuz you can't have mine.

    3. Don't buy patterned socks. :)

    4 & 10. Have children. Suffer through the years until they're tall enough, then make them do that stuff. Or, just offer to babysit for people who have those PITA 'tweens and teens and tell the parents they don't have to pay you because their kids' manual labor will be payment enough. If you lived here, I'd share mine with you for a few hours of no kid time...hell yeah!

    8. Ok, no solution here, just commiseration: you and your fanny pack, me and my ponytail. We both might need help here.

    9 and the rest - AMEN sister!

  16. no freaking way!! it's illegal to pump your own gas?? so who (or what, for that matter) pumps it and via which exact method?

  17. Wow, that's a great list. I was going to start naming off all the things I agreed with, but then that would just be everything.

    BUT if I had to pick just one thing off that entire list, it would be teleportation. I waste so much of my life in my car, communting over an hour each day. It's not like I can be very productive during those drives, or multitask. I am all for instaneous transportation!

    Oh, I have one of those completely automated litter boxes. All you have to do is empty the little tray once or twice a week. Of course, I get behind on that, too ...

  18. Awesome list....I wish so as well! Have a great weekend!


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