Thursday, January 01, 2009

Onward

I've finally been bitten by the Facebook bug, and it's great seeing people on there that I haven't seen in 20-ish years (because I'm getting older like that), but it's also given me pause. It's a lot to think about seeing all these people and where they are in their lives. It's a lot on a lot of levels.

One, among 8 million other things that is tossing around in my mind, is seeing all these people I knew now having bunches of kids everywhere and suspecting I'll possibly never have pictures of cute little kids to share with the world (even if I could have been voted most likely to have gotten knocked up back in the day - irony is fun). I'll be honest and risk being a little heavy right here, even right before the New Year, but this is a wound I'm constantly cleaning so that it doesn't get infected with envy or sorrow. I think I've struck an OK balance most days, but being childless when it's the exact opposite of what you want does pretty much suck. I try not to talk about it too much because it's pretty much a downer, and I tend to be pretty upbeat, but I like being real, too. Maybe I'll show you more of that side in 2009 to see if I don't scare you away. Maybe I won't feel the need since the hardest part of it is in the past. Supposedly. We'll see.

In general, though, back to this people I used to know and now seeing them on Facebook, it's so odd how you just never really know what life will give you, where events will take you or, more importantly, what you'll do with it as a result. Those who had it so going on didn't necessarily become CEO-type people, and those who didn't have it going on didn't necessarily end up "failures." It's just interesting. Because you. just. never. know.

Sadly, I'm finding out that some of us in my graduating class of 1990 will never even see 40 years old. It's eerie to think about who we have lost and in what ways, some I felt connected to somehow, and some who were just faces I remember seeing in the hall. It's really got me thinking. Again. Deep stuff.

There's more, but this is already approaching rambling, and I don't mean it to be depressing. There's no real point other than that maybe it's appropriate headed out of an old year into a new year thinking about where I've been, where I'm going and what I can do to make the most of every single day of 2009.

Thank you, dear readers, for reading. For your friendship. For being on my journey with me. For allowing me on yours. For everything.

Be safe tonight, OK?

Happy New Year

16 comments:

  1. Not depressing at all, Maggie! That's exactly what New Year's Eve is all about, I think. Reflection, looking forward, looking back, thinking and reminiscing. You're feeling the exact same way as lots of people are feeling today and I'm so sure you will turn it around later!

    Thing about Facebook. It's a joke. People chose what goes into photo albums and what's written on their walls and you know what? There's always going to be someone you envy - for whatever reasons - on FB. Someone always has a better or fuller life because that's what they put out there, not because that's how it is! I don't know, I have a Facebook, but I stay off it for the most part because it can get me down.

    Thank YOU for everything in '08...now lets go kick '09's ass!! Cheers!!

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  2. Wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

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  3. I don't think your post was depressing, and I doubt you could drive me away! I figure anyone willing to return to my blog as often as you do to read my drivel deserves all sorts of attempts to drive me away - it will never happen! Hell, you haven't even written anything to even make me consider it :-)

    Ahhhh FaceBook. I have an account, which I do absolutely nothing with (for the most part) except send snowglobes and flowers to people How cool is that! I love it, and visit it for that reason & that reason only! OHHH, and bonus, I just found out today I can send drinks! Bonus - I'm heading there now to do just that! :-)

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  4. Love ya Maggie! Happy New Year. I hope 2009 is good to us all.

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  5. You'll never drive me away, either! I've always admired you for being able to share yourself with us without holding back. Not many can do that.

    As for facebook. I'm totally addicted and it's caused me to neglect my blog! Want to be my friend? :-)

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  6. ((HUGS)) sobering, isn't it?

    First of all... wow. Facebook. On many many levels. I've found so many people I never thought I'd find again (and many that I never really wanted too...) I know people only put the best stuff there; so I try not to let it get me down!

    Happy 2009! (Hopefully next year treats you wonderfully!)

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  7. It's not depressing - New Year's is the perfect time for reflection!

    I'm glad we became bloggie friends this year, and I hope you have a fabulous New Year.

    I can imagine that you'll be having a wonderful night tonight, just based on the fact that you and Tom will be together!

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  8. I am so glad I found you. You, and your wonderful Haiku. You and your 'apartness', now solved. You, and your wonderful and intelligent mind. Look forward, Maggie, because what's to come is even better than what has been.

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  9. So NOT depressing, Maggie!

    I've been on Facebook for a month or so now, and I'm enjoying it, for the most part.

    As to the kid thing... as you know Ed and I don't plan on having kids... MOST of the time I know this is the right decision for us.

    Then there are the days like yesterday... when I went to see the orthodontist, who I've been seeing since 1990, when I was 15. I'd not been there in about two years.

    Some of the people who work there now worked there then. One of the ladies asked me how old I was. When I replied, "33," the OTHER lady pointed out that if we wanted babies, we'd better get busy.

    THUD.

    I knew this, had been thinking a LOT about this. But OUCH!

    I know she wasn't being ugly... at ALL... but OUCH (if I haven't said that already).

    Anyhoo...

    Moving right along.

    Thank you for listening.

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  10. I can't imagine you ever writing something that would scare me away. It's been a pleasure following along your posts throughout the year and look forward to what unfolds in 2009.

    I definitely think the new year tends to resurface deep and past emotions. It's hard to not look back on what was and what may be.

    I've found myself on Facebook a bit more these days as well. Such a time suck though! :)

    Wishing you all the best for 2009!

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  11. hey. feelings. that's what life is about. the frivolous and the meaningful. explore yourself all you wish. it's good for the soul. thank you for your wonderful presence and i hope 2009 will be just as wonderful!

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  12. Just dropped by to say hi and happy new year ... hope it's fabulous 4 u
    Chris x

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  13. I tend to look back and reflect on years gone by in this season too. But at the same time I know that regretting things that did not happen for me only make me sad. It does not change a thing. My resolution for this year will be to look back at the happy moments only and leave the rest be. I'll consider them lessons in life. Things that were not meant for me. They should no longer spoil the rest of my life that is still ahead of me. They have done that for too long.
    I'm looking forward to reading your posts for one thing Maggie!
    I wish you all the best for 2009, and many many happy moments.
    Thanks for being my friend, I think that's precious!

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  14. Oh Mags... I think this is a great post. Losing people is part of life. If that makes us appreciate what we have more, then there's good in that.

    Happy New Year. This is gonna be a great year for you and Tom, I just know it.

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  15. I agree -- it's not depressing, it's just reflecting.

    I've had so many of these thoughts having just gotten on Facebook myself and reconnecting with a zillion and a half people from my way way past. It is a strange deep thought about what the future has had in store and come to find out, has brought, and I can't even put in into words right, really. But I think about that all the time in terms of where I am, where I thought I would be, all of that, and how everyone I knew and/or know fared in all of it too.

    Anyway, before I become the rambler, I just want to say that I wish you many blessings for the year to come and the many many that follow.

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