Saturday, July 18, 2009

Sticky Situation

Do you remember those one shoes I talked about here? The black patent leather with the stap across the top shoes I bought for my interview in February for the JET Program (the reason I'm leaving for Japan for a year just a week from today)? How I then photographed (from this post) those shoes and talked about me walking in heels and needing the help of YouTube to do so?

Does this help jog the memory?

I wore these yesterday for more walking in heels practice when I went shopping for a million things I still needed to buy before leaving for Japan, mostly items to make sure Tom is a little stocked up on things like toilet paper, granola bars, kitty litter (and hugs and kisses). Being raised with some manners and consideration for others, when I was done loading everything into my non-air-conditioner-having-car (it's been in the 100's here in Tulsa, just saying) I went to put away the cart (here in Tulsa, where it gets stupid hot outside, some call a shopping cart a buggy, which cracks me up and distracts me from the heat for 2 seconds).

Something felt stuck to the bottom of my shoe as I tried walking back to my hotbox car where items were surely melting. When I looked down, I became homicidal.

I saw this:

No, I have no idea how I got the gum wrapped around the entire goddamn shoe as if I'd tried to do as such.

I voiced aloud to myself in the empty-ish parking lot what I thought about the mother of someone who raised her kids (and I bet it was an adult kid, no reason, just a hunch because most little kids do know better) to think that it was OK to toss sticky chewing gum on the ground where someone would step in it. I've been chastised here before for saying something like someone having a filthy pig whore for a mother, but I'll say it again because the shoe fits, and when I'm that mad, I sometimes go straight for your mama's throat like the creative words of disparagement we learned in junior high. That still makes me more mature than the asshat who doesn't dispose of gum properly.

The gum still reeked of the peppermint that was probably being used to cover up whatever diseases are harbored in the offender's filthy pig mouth. I didn't want to touch it because, ew. The napkins I had in my car just made it worse, so even though I was in the middle of a bazillion errands, I had to stop at home to at least get the pig nastiness off of my shoes.

I tried putting the shoes in the freezer as I'd heard for gum removal, but it didn't work so well, and I was completely skeeved out having to pick at the infectogram of hate someone had left on my shoe and getting it under my fingernails. *insert gagging*

So, I turned to Twitter (you follow me, right?), the source of all information, good or bad or other, and the lovely Zoeyjane hooked me up with the solution that worked. She feared the peanut butter option I'd mentioned might ruin patent leather shoes due to the sugars and suggested olive oil.

And the olive oil worked. Like a charm. I put a little on a paper towel and gently rubbed on the olive oil until it got hard the gum started coming off. I get to meet Zoeyjane in Chicago before leaving for Japan next weekend (yay for BlogHer being in Chicago!), and she's getting an extra hug.

There was still gum on the bottom of the shoe where I wasn't afraid to use the peanut butter technique that goes like this:

Get Gum Off Your Shoes With Peanut Butter - The most amazing bloopers are here

Later yesterday, I got information from the Chicago consulate that Japan is still concerned enough with swine flu that I need to track my symptoms and temperature for the whole week leading up to departure and turn in the sheet before I'm allowed on the flight. I'm sure piggishness is not related to swine flu, so I should be OK.

At least it was the patent leather pair I was wearing and not the other new pair, the $100+ Tsubo ones that I got for under $15 (from this post). Can you imagine gum on these? *shudder*



  1. I am not a shoe person. I only own two pairs plus flip flops. But both of those damn pairs are so very, very hawt and sexy, I almost wish I had somewhere to go and money to buy them. Those are some fine shoes lady.

    Maybe we should try to have gum banned, so the piggies can't drop it where I always step?

  2. I saw that on Twitter! I'm glad you got it off with the olive oil? It's good to know that! I won't be at Blogher next week, so I'm sending you a big hug now, okay? Only seven more days Maggie, awwww. So exciting!

  3. Gaw, you SO crack me up! And yes, you ARE more mature (no matter what names you use) than some dickweed that spits his/her gum out somewhere other than a trash receptacle.

    I yelled at Parker once, who spit his gum out somewhere – wasn’t a parking lot – I think it was on the edge of a road – gravel pull off area where we were about to go hiking. He looked at me like I had just slapped him. My concern was not someone stepping in it, but some poor bird choking on it. After I calmed for a sec, I explained to him that we have like EIGHT MILLION NAPKINS in the car – spit it into one of THOSE – NEVER THE GROUND! Then I calmed again. And took several deep breaths. Then gave him one of those napkins, and told him to go find it and pick it up.

    Oh, and hubs being Australian, he always calls them a trolley. That cracks me up – I keep looking for tracks below and cables overhead. The kids will still look at him with a ‘deer in the headlights’ look when he tells them to go grab a trolley. Then I say ‘cart’. The lightbulb comes on over their heads, and then they argue over who has to go get it. Or sometimes they argue over who gets to go get it. Kids.

  4. I love Twitter... you learn some of the coolest stuff there. Glad you were able to rescue the shoes, they were too young to be retired

  5. Oh, that's so gross! I can't believe someone spat out their gum! Hurrah that you got your super cute shoes clean (and I had no idea about peanut butter or olive oil! so clever :)

  6. That the good Lord you got the gum off. Those shoes are so hot!!!!!

  7. Too bad we won't have enough time to go shopping together in Chicago. Because you seem to find the most fabulous shoes. I actually just went shopping today for some...found nothin'.

    So glad ZoeyJane found a solution for you. Can't wait to see you next week!

  8. That is so gross. And I would have totally gone apesh!t too. There's no excuse for being a pig, no matter how old you are.

  9. The germaphobe inside of me is SCREAMING about the gum. ICK.

  10. Paul chews gum all the time. I get annoyed finding wrappers all over the place with his old gum in it. Yeah I knew the ewww content of that. He's a great guy otherwise. I'm giving him an extra hug for at least being curteous enough to put it in a wrapper. How hard is that? If you're going to be a slob at least be a polite slob. (Hugs)Indigo

    P.S. I'm now here:

  11. I get so agitated with people who throw their gum out on the ground. Is it too much trouble to find a trash can, they are everywhere these days.

  12. Those shoes are HOT! Love em!
    Sorry you had to deal with the stupidity of someone else. I hate when someone's stupidity effects me...all too often!
    And yay for olive oil!


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