Bitch, You Crazy

Not far from where I've been placed in Japan, there are several places that start with what I would write in English as Bicchu..., but since there are different ways of writing Japanese words in English, sometimes another method is used. My dear friend J, who already thinks I'm nuts for doing Japan again (it's easier fresh out of college to put up with things like the camping-like conditions we endured - he's totally right!), noticed this little gem and presented it as evidence of what he's been saying all along:

The first part, "bitch" (instead of "bicchu") speaks for itself. The long "u" does sound like "you." Now, considering that "e" in Japanese is pronounced like "ay," this really does look an awful lot like it's saying "Bitch, you koo-ray-say," which sounds an awful lot like "bitch, you crazy." Heh.

I'm still waiting to hear more details, but I do think I'm going to love it there.

In other news, I safely arrived in Chicago yesterday and will be here for a few days, not sure how many, and my blog reading will be light, so if I'm not around here a ton or visiting y'all a ton, that's my excuse.

And Now I Know (or Redefining Inaka)

Less than 2 hours after I last posted that I was full of wonderment and chomping at the bit to know where in Japan I'd be headed, I found out. And now I know.

If you'd have asked me before around 10:40 this morning about living in inaka (the countryside, the boonies, middle of bloody nowhere) in Japan, I'd have said that I did that last time. At any point since about 10:40 this morning, I've been realizing that while it looked like inaka where I was last time, with all the rice fields and whatnot, being a 10 minute walk from a little train station that was a less than 20 minute train ride into a decent sized city to get to a station on the main train line was actually more accurately described as suburban. Not inaka, really. This time? I do think it's really fair to say that I'm going to the inaka.

I'm going to Okayama Prefecture. Not to the part even near Okayama City (which would have been pretty OK and not very inaka), but instead I'm off to a very tiny little town of not a whole lot of people and not even remotely close to the main train line I was hoping would be super convenient for all the traveling I hope to be doing. Other than being in the same vicinity of the country of Japan as I hoped, it's not at all approaching the urban, or even suburban if it had to be, that I was really hoping I'd asked nicely enough to think I might get.

I don't have all the details, just the name of my new town in kanji and word that it is, as it appears on the map, indeed, very rural, very beautiful, very friendly and not near a goddamn thing. I spent half the day busy getting ready for my Chicago trip trying wrap my mind around the shock of this placement (I really thought I had a chance at suburban at least, I really did) and feeling a little bruised, honestly, because it's the opposite of what I requested. Then I've spent the last few hours remembering that there are a lot of folks on the waiting list who would gladly take my place if I decide to be a whiny little bitch about it, realizing that I did at least get in the same general area of the country I'd hoped and cheering myself up knowing that I'll make the best of it and will likely love it for the same reasons it scares/annoys me right now. I'll still get to travel all the places in the vicinity I want to go on long weekends, and the rest of the time I'll be experiencing a very different Japan from the one I experienced last time, which is kind of the point, anyway, and is probably good for someone like me so that I don't start thinking I know it all (who? me?).

I've told so many incoming JETs anxious about this kind of placement (or worse, there are some more rural, like on remote islands - for realz) that almost any placement is a good placement with the right attitude and a good sense of humor. I believe it because it's no bullshit. And now it's time to take my own advice. I'm getting there. I'm warming up to the idea. I'll also do better once I have specifics from the person I'm replacing, like knowing that there is a good place for coffee or a cute neighborhood bar or just a place to buy peanut butter in person (a girl can dream, right?). So, I'm in. I think. Mostly. I'll get there.

Hopefully my experience with the newly redefined inaka will translate into better stories and better pictures to share, too. Another perk.

Today I'll Know More

The JET Program is a whole bunch of start early and then wait in phases, with a million bits of paperwork and reference letters and documents all folded origami style into ducks neatly lined up in a row properly copied and collated by around mid-November (to be safe), followed by finding out around the end of January (28th for me) you've been lucky enough to get an interview, then the interview itself in mid-February (the week of the 16th-23rd this year), waiting to hear the results early April (the 7th for me), then for the lucky ones a rush of more paperwork and fingerprints to send to the FBI (which I have to re-do, boo and hiss) and tax forms and getting the passport in order and a million other things due late April or early May (May 1st for me), and then waiting some more to find out, after all of that, where besides just the area generally known as the country of Japan you'll be placed.

Placement is usually announced around late May or early June, and it varies by country and by consulate (many in South Africa, New Zealand, Australia, Jamaica, Canada, Singapore and some of the US Consulates - or at least some in Denver - have found out over the past handful of days). The Chicago consulate, where I had the pleasure of sweating in a hot/hawt black suit, will be announcing results today. Likely. They said likely.

OMFG, today I find out where I'm going! (Likely.)

I just may or may not know the exact city or school or possibly Board of Ed. Maybe just the prefecture, just enough of a bone tossed my way to occupy my mind while I wait to hear from my predecessor - in days or maybe weeks - who will have all the dirt on where I'll actually be living, what my rent will be, how long it will take to bike/ride the train/walk/crawl to work, whether I'm in the city or on a remote island, whether the other teachers are cool and basically what my next year will look like on the outside before I make it my own.

Waiting is the hardest part, and knowing that information is coming (likely) makes it harder to concentrate on, well, anything else, even if I have a list of stuff to do before I hit the road for Chicago tomorrow to celebrate a nephew's high school graduation. I'll likely have plenty to think about on the about 11 hours with pit stops drive, and maybe I'll have even more info before that trip is over, too, so that I can hurry up and get everything all lined up and wait for departure at the end of July.

I wonder what time today I'll (likely) hear and what my mental state will be by then...

A Tuesday Re-Cap

1. We moved on Friday. It's done. I'm feeling less willing to unpack, but I suppose the 3rd time in 6 months could be the charm. Maybe I'll give it a few days.
   
2. In a few days I'm driving "home" to Chicago for a very special event, the high school graduation of a nephew that was born while I was in college, which is where he'll be headed this fall. My mind feels old trying to wrap a bow around that box of flying time.
3. The fingerprinting for the FBI criminal background check that I had to do for the JET Program (you know, the one where I move to Japan in July for a year?) came back rejected, which caused me to panic at first until I re-read the email 18 times to confirm that it was just an issue with the prints themselves and that those will be sent back to me to include with the new set for the new request so that I don't have to pay again. Except that I have to wait until they forward from the last address, which may happen while I'm in Chicago, which doesn't help me to get this all done quickly, which would give me peace of mind. Spike my latte, someone?
   
4. I don't feel like talking publicly any more about the cat pee carpet in the new place, but it's partially resolved enough to shut me up a little though still not what I think is exactly how it should be done. If there are further issues, I'll be loud again.
5. We had ribs for dinner, and they rocked. Crockpot first, under the broiler then, and onto the plate and down the hatch. A few hours later, we had an inexplicable and insatiable desire for pancakes. I don't know why I'm terrible at making pancakes, but bad pancakes with enough butter and syrup is never really all that bad of a thing.
6. My pants feel tighter. My mind feels lighter.
   

Memorial Day

It's not about the start of summer,
not about ribs on the grill for the barbecue,
nor the pools that will open
or the splashing, diving or dunking in days to come,
and it's not about the old school fashion calendar
heralding the change over and permission to wear white sandals
(as if anyone under 40 follows this anymore).

It's more about about those who miss someone today
a spouse or child or parent or sibling or friend
who is dead
in the name of service to others
(stop, pause, imagine, feel, connect, let your heart appreciate the magnitude)
loved ones, literally ones who are/were loved,
unable to attend the party
or take a dip in the pool
or worry about fashion don'ts
because of sacrifice,
giving their lives for our way of life.

Today I'll celebrate
the things I love most
about the American way of life
but I remember not to forget
that the cliche is true,
that freedom isn't free,
and that many someones grieve today
for what they've lost
to pay for what we've got.

It's memorial day.
Let's remember.

Haiku Friday 5/22/09

been such a long week
cat pee issue not as bad
we move in today

shouldn't be so hard
for folks to do the right thing
where pee is involved

out of energy
to fight it any further
and out of time, too

prob'ly this is good
even if just good enough
at least i hope so

ready to be done
and stop moving all our stuff
just when we've unpacked

hoping for the best
while also fearing the worst
trying not to care

not a witty 'ku
just don't have it in me now
cat pee bad for brain

Too Tired to Title This Update of Sorts

The new place should be OK overall, and we now own a fridge (I'd prefer not to own one and just have it as part of renting, but I'm not getting much of what I'd prefer of late). Unfortunately the place smells like cat pee. The landlord doesn't smell it. Probably related to the nine million air fresheners that were there. Thankfully, the black light fluoresced to show that I wasn't nuts (shows pee, among other delights - sometimes you just don't want to know), but he's only inclined to help to a small degree, so I'll be spending more money than I particularly care to spend to hopefully take care of the problem because the thought of what my cats would do to a carpet that already smells like cat pee is something I'd really rather not experience or even consider. It's worth the cost, even if he won't reimburse, which he might not, though maybe I'll get lucky.

The faux wood blinds I want so badly that I haiku'd about them are not likely to be because our window sizes just make them too expensive to spend ($90 for the 2 windows I have in mind), especially considering our track record of late for frequency of moves. Maybe if we are still there when I come back from Japan and if it looks at that point like we are staying for awhile.

Also, my whole tooth/teeth issue that seemed pretty alright at first may not be as alright as I'd like because now one side is sensitive on top and the other side is sensitive on the bottom, which doesn't really leave a side to enjoy foods that are either hot or cold. I'll give it a little time since sometimes it takes time, but I might not be done. I'd rather just be done.

On a happy note because whining is annoying, packing this time is going really well because I've basically stopped doing any packing, which rocks. I'm just grabbing a bunch of whatever and taking things over in canvas grocery bags since it's not very far away. Even fragile stuff has been fine since it's just me in my car instead of a bunch of people and stuff going in trucks and getting knocked around or stacked. My goal is to have mostly just the heavy book boxes and furniture type items when the "real" move happens this Friday. My kitchen at the new place is already about 90% ready to cook.

Now I think I just need to test out the new fridge with some cold beers just to make sure it's working properly. Or at least test the ice cube maker by making an iced coffee.

Haiku Friday 5/15/09

Such a simple touch
can transform our next new home
to feel like our last.

Clean white faux wood blinds
visual equivalent
to fresh linens smell.

Substantial yet plain
like yummy tasting shortbread
minus the crunch sound.

Humane Humans Need Not Apply

While waiting to hear about the place we were hoping to rent since we are moving yet again, I was keeping my eyes open for other places to live. Honestly, there were very few that were in our price range and where we wanted to be, but there was one other that looked like a possibility, so I called.

The ad said that pets were welcome, but within a couple of minutes of talking to the landlord, it was clear that while they might maybe possibly consider the idea of maybe considering an application from one who owns pets, they'd really prefer not to rent to someone with pets. It would have been helpful if the ad had just said something like, I dunno, maybe "no pets"? The guy also went on and on and on and onandon about having to clean up dog pee and shampoo the carpets 9 times (apparently instead of replacing them, which is what he should do if they still smell), even though I kept trying to cut to the chase to say that I have (well-behaved-ish) cats. In the end I found out the two following rules that I think both suck eggs (and which, again, would be unnecessary if they just flat out went with no pets, which seems fair enough for a landlord to say, instead of looking like a huge asshat):

1. For dogs, "no mutts." No mixed breeds allowed. Pure breeds only. The reason, he said, is that "you can't tell if there could be some Pit[bull] in there." So, basically, almost anyone who does a good thing by providing a typically mutt kind of shelter dog another chance at a good life can't live there, even if it's like a Chihuahua and Yorkshire Terrier mix, or some other very obviously tiny and harmless mix. It's one thing to restrict certain breeds for size or safety concerns (though, even then, the owners play a huge role - I've met some very darling and sweet Pitbulls), but a blanket rule about "mutts" is over the top, ignorant, stupid and generally not the kind of place I want to live.
   
2. For cats, even if you provide appropriate materials for scratching, and even if you (presumably since we didn't get that far) pay a deposit, you must have your cat's paws basically amputated at what would be the equivalent to the last knuckle of your finger, also known as declawing (something I feel strongly about, as does the Humane Society of the United States). Imagine walking around on those feet for the rest of your life. Ouch! It's cruel and inhumane and illegal in many countries, just not here in the States. There are so many alternatives, like knowing how to properly trim your cats claws or just outsmarting your cat with alternatives.

While I didn't bother sharing my views on either topic, since you can't cure stupid and since the guy would just have kept frothing at the mouth about how he can't even enjoy the sight of the little neighbor boy walking his dog that "looks like George Bush's dog" because of having to shampoo carpet that he really should be replacing instead, I did say to him that I would not be declawing my cats, and that if it was going to be a dealbreaker, then it was a dealbreaker. And it was. Which is fine with me.

Luckily, the original place we were hoping to get did come through *insert huge sigh of relief*, and our lease will start this Friday, though the major part of our move won't be until next Friday (which is still pretty damn quick - 12 days from finding out we were moving!). I'm OK with this since the new place is located near where we are and will allow me to procure a washer, dryer and fridge (eek! buying used) so that it's livable by next week. I'll also get to go over there with some of those loose end type items that are a pain in the ass to pack as well as a few boxes here and there to get some of the boxes out of my hair here, which is awesome because the cats, um, always scratch the hell out of the boxes when we are moving (which might kind of be inappropriate but not worth mutilation).

Hug your kitties today. Doggies, too. Or whatever pets. And think happy packing thoughts for me, which is what I should be doing instead of blogging.

I'm in the Wrong Business

So, within a few hours of finding out yesterday afternoon that we are moving a-goddamn-gain for the 3rd time in 6 months, I found at least one promising place to check out as a possibility to call home. Trouble is, even after just a month, we are spoiled and can't really imagine having to go back to the whole apartment living thing (especially not in the Tulsa area where it's... just different), and, frankly, I'm a little out of my league since I don't know the nuances of renting non-apartment type housing since we've only done it just this once and without an application process since it was friends (yes, we still did a formal lease, and that in and of itself was... just interesting).

I emailed about the property last night, we went to see it today, and we were really happy with it. I went to give the landlord the application and $25 fee, and we discussed again the idea that while he wants someone to rent it immediately (or sooner), we realistically would be looking more at next Friday (yes, a week and a half to pack, yikes), if that would work. What I didn't expect was that there may be other applicants who also have paid their $25 application fees and that he'd be considering "the whole picture" when reviewing the application(s), including as one factor who can take it soonest. He did mention someone wanting even later than us, but I'm not really sure if there are a bunch of applicants or just that one. See, with apartments, by the time I'd paid the application fee, I knew that there was at least one unit available or likely would be if applying in advance. With non-apartment-only-one-available kind of house type rentals, that's not the case. He also said that the places like this usually are shown about 3-5 times a day.

Yes, I'm sure in huge big cities where people scan the obits to find vacancies left by the deceased (is that real or just urban legend?), stuff like this goes on all day every day, even for apartments, and that people pay others to find them apartments on top of fees for something they may not even get, but this is all new to me. Apartment renting is just different. I'm pretty sure that this is totally legit, but it just struck me different and made me wonder...

Y'all know I avoid math, and I know legally this surely couldn't be done, but I couldn't help but wonder, if you just sat around taking $25 application fees all day from 3 people a day for 31 days in the longer months, when would the train reach the station that would be $2325 per month, much more than the $300-$1500 or whatever amount you might otherwise get if you actually rented it. That would be kind of brilliant. Illegal, likely for someone to catch on pretty damn quick, but brilliant and fun to think about to distract me from the daunting task of packing up all of our crap. Again. By next Friday. Or sooner.

Too Good to Be True

Ever since we moved into our new home at the end of March, I've made a point of loving every minute of it. I love the kitchen space and pantry. I love the room to spread out. I love having backyard with a patio. I love feeling a solid floor under my feet and knowing that no neighbors dwell below. I love listening to the TV at whatever volume I want. I love having a washer and dryer in my home again. I love living on a nice suburban street. I love the awesome layout and general homey atmosphere. I love being all unpacked and feeling like we're at home. I love the feel of both the plush carpet and the cool tile on my bare feet.

I hate that we likely have to move again so soon when we just got here.

For those who have misplaced your scorecards, it was just 5 months ago in December that I packed up and left Portland and drove through lots of states in order to move to Tulsa to join Tom after 9 months of apartness, and then we had crazy neighbors at the Tulsa apartment but soon after got a great offer to rent a house from a friend's family at a price we could afford (see second point at that link), so I packed up all the same boxes again just 3 months later to get to where we are now.

And where we are now is in a situation I'm really not at liberty to discuss in detail publicly (though I have a lot of opinions about it) but where the owners of this house we've been in just over a month are having some trouble and where us leaving now makes more sense instead of holding them to the year lease and just being in the same boat at a later point. But a point at which I'll be in Japan.

I'm sick to my stomach trying to sort out new living arrangements within our budget because it's been so easy to get used to living in a house without walls shared with neighbors and seems so hard to go back to the opposite of that wonderful feeling, but at least I've gotten pretty damn good at packing by now with all that excessive practice, so our 3rd move in less than 6 months (seriously, wtf?!) should seem like old hat by now. Glad I kept the boxes.

Oblivious Peace

Yes, I will most definitely be bringing my camera to Japan. Yes, there will likely be many shots involving the peace sign to add to my collection. I can only hope I'll be lucky enough to catch something this batshit on film (er... disk? I guess would be correct?) to share for giggles.

see more pwn and owned pictures

Oh Dear

(Chickenshit disclaimer: If you are enjoying your Happy Mother's Day, you may want to check back later for the smiley sunshine up your ass and farting fluffy rainbows brand of posts. My blog, my annual wallow. I'm allowed once a year or so. You've been warned.)

Dear Mom,
I miss you.
Love, Me

Dear Baby,
Wish you were here.
Love, Me

Dear Readers,
Last year's wallow was more poetic/pathetic.
Love, Me

Dear Fur Baby Kitties,
You're as close as I've gotten; consider cleaning your own box today?
Love, Me

Dear Me,
Be gentle with you today.
Love, Me

Dear Starbucks,
I need/love/deserve you today.
Love, Me

Dear Universe,
Kiss my ass today.
Love, Me

Meow-ku Friday 5/8/09

俳句の金曜日

Curled softly snoring
tiny paws tucked underneath
whiskers twitch to dreams

Silky soft and svelte
sophisticat(e) debonair
steals hearts and morsels

Coziest cuddler
original recipe
that started it all

Each one from the streets
adopted me, filled my heart,
thereby took me home

Bliss (and Free Chocolate!)

I do think my tooth issue is fixed. I really do. Sure, it's a teensy weensy bit sensitive, but that's to be expected with fillings sometimes for a few weeks, but I had zero problem eating the free Hershey's Bliss bar that I scored at Target today, thanks to this post over here. No creepy coupon printer installer downloads needed (they send you instead to this great site with tons of Target coupons free for printing), and though some Target stores might fuss at you (see comments on that post) and only let you use it on the bag of chocolate, it worked for me to get $1 off a $0.99 Bliss bar, meaning FREE CHOCOLATE, y'all! Before this tooth refilling yesterday, anything hot, cold or sweet coming into contact with that tooth was pure agony. Today? I ate chocolate dead on that tooth. Someone had to test it out, right? Result: pure bliss.

Tomorrow, one more tooth to be done. Might need more chocolate to test that one, too...

Second Opinion

So remember back when I was lamenting that I should almost just go toothless (OK, just one tooth) and get a neck tattoo because I was in a dental predicament that was both uncertain and likely to be expensive no matter which way it shook out? Basically, the dentist I saw thought maybe I had a fractured root, which may or may not have survived a root canal, and if it did, it would cost a lot, and if it didn't and I had it extracted, a bridge or implants would also cost a lot. It was a no win situation. And I had no insurance.

I went into hardcore research mode got poking around awhile back and found that the COBRA subsidy under the stimulus plan that allows those on COBRA (such as those who have been laid off) to pay just 35% of their health care premiums for the first 9 months instead of 102% (as it used to be, full premium plus the 2% for admin fees - good luck paying that while unemployed) out of the gate, applies not just to medical insurance but to dental insurance as well. I had to dig around and call around and send information to my former employer because they'd initially been told by someone that it didn't apply. (If you are reading this and in that boat or just curious, shoot me an email, and I'll send you what I sent to my former employer back in March; the documents aren't exactly crystal clear, but you can draw some conclusions.) So, while I have no medical insurance (due to my location), I do at least have dental insurance because I can afford the COBRA premiums thanks to the subsidy. I won't be political here, but I will say I'm thankful.

One of my first orders of business, once I was done doggy paddling through the murky waters essentially on my own, was to go to another dentist for a second opinion. I'm so glad I didn't let the first guy yank out my bad tooth with the myriad of expensive decisions that would eventually follow (not good to just leave a hole, screws things up) because this new dentist has been so reasonable about trying different things that are less dramatic and less expensive (even with dental insurance, costs can get a little nuts, so it's a concern). Since it's not just a sensitivity issue that prescription toothpaste (given to me free) can cure, the next guess is that it's the filling I got sometime in 6th grade around the time I went to a friend's bat mitzvah (I remember that but don't remember what I had for breakfast, oy!), which would make that filling pretty damn old. I didn't realize that fillings often have to be replaced after 5 to 15 years, but according to Google, they do. (Seriously, click on the Google thing, and next time someone asks a question they didn't need to ask you, you'll have a witty retort.)

And so, at the end of this lengthier than I intended post, I'm happy to share that I did my homework and got that to which I'm entitled in terms of my dental insurance and also in terms of a likely much better avenue to strut on down with this tooth. It pays to seek a second opinion through research or plain stubbornness and not accepting an answer at face value (or both).

I'm not as happy to share that I have to go soon to have a needle poked into my gums (I come near passing out sometimes, seriously, seeing white, feeling pukey) so that I can have my face drilled. Or that I get to go back again later in the week for the same in a different quadrant of my mouth. Still, that's just my first opinion. The second is that it will be nice to be all fixed. Well, if this works... Stay tuned.

Haiku Friday 5/1/09

俳句の金曜日