Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Woman She Was Before All of That

This is that day. The one that comes every year. The day after my mother's birthday. The anniversary of her death. This time it's 17 years. Ridiculous. Impossible.

Lou Gherig's disease (ALS) is indescribably and unbelievably cruel. I still look back and wonder if it wasn't all just some nightmare. For many years, on this day, it was so hard not to remember her that way, the woman shrunken and distorted in sickness with a mind alive and well trapped inside the prison of a paralyzed body (I still can't imagine), instead of the woman she was before all of that. I want to remember that one:

The one that could speak (usually too loud). The one that could hug (the best kind of no holds barred hugs). The one that could smile (happily, mischievously, she had all kinds). The one that could laugh (loudly, from her gut, sometimes at inappropriate times). The one that really was my mom.
58/366 - The same flowers, depending on mood.
(taken on my iPhone, toyed with in BeFunky app)

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. Loosing your mother that way is the worst.

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  2. I am so very sorry. I know what you feel. It's almost 23 years gone for me. The grief never truly ends. But she makes you remember her the way she was before ALS. Her spirit is too strong to do anything else..

    hugs.

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